


Broken Halves of a Whole

by bubbLp0ppR



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (but it's only ketchup), Anxiety, Brotherly Bonding, Depression, Drinking, Feels Rollercoaster of Angst, Gen, Multiverse Shenanigans, PTSD, Sans Remembers Resets, Self Harm, Social Anxiety, Suicidal References, alllllll the angsty stuff, bromance overcomes even the bounds of time and space apparently, real jerks of unimportant characters that bully people, the brothers will be bonding like a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2018-11-21 02:02:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11347569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbLp0ppR/pseuds/bubbLp0ppR
Summary: In the multiverse, there are two accidents of original UT worlds. A version where sans doesn't have a brother. And a version where papyrus doesn't have one....let's just say one without the other leaves poor skeletons with a boat-load of issues.If they keep this up they'll both end up wanting to die. It's time CORE Frisk takes them to the Omega timeline.But what if all they really need is a brother to be okay? Neither is perfect, but two broken halves still fit to make a whole. Or at least Core definitely thinks so. Worth a try, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "I'll just write a chapter or two and see if it sounds any good" I told myself. "Just an hour messing around with this silly idea i have" I said. Ha. hahahaha.
> 
> Then i went and wrote six chapters in one sitting, throwing away an entire night in the process. 
> 
> I wasn't really sure if i wanted to release this one. But now that i've made so much i feel like i should at least try to post it and just bear it however it comes.
> 
> I've never even written this sort of stuff before. Look at all those serious tags... i'm probably in way over my head. All the big name fanfics explore them, but i've been too scared to try. In part because I don't want to misrepresent and in part because I don't think i could make a story with them work. Welp. Here's me trying! It's always a good opportunity to extend my horizons and experiment i guess.
> 
> And if this is terrible, then sobeit. I shall learn from the endeavour. (or just delete it if i realise it's 100% terrible tomorrow lol)

CORE Frisk is capable of existing everywhere at once, aware of all worlds within the multiverse simultaneously through every instance of time. It gives them the feeling of always needing to sneeze but never doing it.

They smile knowing the Omega timeline is working well. Plucking sole survivors from AUs where characters would normally be driven insane or towards suicide is a busy task, but manageable when the person running it is scattered across time and space.

Ah! Two more universes beg their attention. Ironic parallels of each other, two worlds in which only one skeleton brother exist are torturing their Sans and Papyrus. It’s not a normal situation. Genocide hasn’t left them trapped, but…

Core can’t let these skeletons go.

———

Sans doesn’t care. The three words make a thorough description of him. Sitting on a bench at Grillby’s, he stares into the distance with a blank expression. A monster accidentally touches his shoulder. He doesn’t care. They apologise. He doesn’t care. They become concerned when he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t care. “Can you hear me?” The monster doesn’t know. They don’t realise that they’re already dead. They don’t mean _anything_. Nothing does. He doesn’t respond to the question. A hand curls around his shoulder. “Look at me!” He sways lightly at the pressure, but continues looking ahead.

Sans doesn’t care. Everyone knows that. But clearly, this monster hasn’t figured it out yet. “Leave him alone, friend. That’s _Sans_.” The random person in the bar utters his name like he’s a child. It should offend him. But he’s too busy not caring. He raises a bottle of ketchup to his lips. Gulping down the thick liquid, he contemplates the nothingness. “I don’t care _who_ he is! Why won’t he look at me?” Maybe this will end in a fight. Nothing new there. Any injuries they leave on him will just get fixed with the next reset anyway. But maybe he’ll get lucky. Maybe they might actually kill him.

“… … …… ………… That’s enough.” So Grillby is going to intervene this time. What a shame.

“Why are you defending him Grillby? Look at him! He’s a slob! All he does is sit here, get drunk, leave it on that stupid tab you give him and deal with the hangovers at that house of his!” The insults slide off Sans like snow. In another time, he might have stood up for Grillby’s sake. But even his old friend means nothing in this endless cycle. Someone drags him up. He hardly resists. Carrying him outside, they force him out of the bar.

And he hadn’t even finished his bottle of ketchup… Oh well.

Shuffling through the snow, he moves towards his house. Monsters shift out of the way for him. Where they don’t, he continues walking straight into them, letting others worry about the aftermath. Whispers scatter around him. _“I heard one day he just gave up about going to the surface entirely…” “…doesn’t even bother cleaning himself.” “My sister swears he only has 1 HP…”_ The noise means nothing. They’re words from dead souls walking. Sans doesn’t care.

He eventually reaches the door. It’s unlocked. There’s no point bothering with a key. No one breaks into his house during this time loop… except the human sometimes. And there isn’t anything worth stealing in there anyway.

He finds an empty-ish piece of floor and collapses in a heap, waiting for the next reset to come.

———

“Heh! Say it again Patrick!” The teen monster stands menacingly next to the skeleton. He hunches, embarrassed in the centre of a circle of monsters. “I-I think that puzzles are… kind of fun.”

The group laughs. “What? Those old things! All they do is get in our way when we try to go places. Puzzles suck! You really are weird Patt!”

He fidgets with his hands for a second like he wants to say something, then hangs his head in resignation. Patrick is not his real name, but he doesn’t bother to correct the group. This is the closest thing he’s had to talking with someone all week. What does the truth matter in comparison to loneliness? “Wh-whatever you say. Puzzles… puzzles suck.”

Cooldrake tilts his head. “Huh. One minute you say you _do_ like puzzles, the next you say they suck. Which is it, _Patrick_?” This one knew his real name. Papyrus had introduced himself with it less than an hour before.

He had been so nice to him. Usually the first thing out of a monster’s mouth when they meet Papyrus is _freak_ or _idiot_. But this one had actually _spoken_ with him. Maybe this was the day. Maybe, at long last, Papyrus would be able to make a friend …even if this one is being quite rude to him.

He hasn’t always been this shy. When he first arrived in Snowdin, Papyrus was bursting with confidence. _Too_ much confidence, in most people’s opinion. He was never quick on the uptake, but even he soon realised that there was something wrong with him. The way he talked. The way he acted. They way he thought. Everything about him was _weird_. And people didn’t like weird.

To try and fit in, he carefully studied each insult and internalised them to try and become better. The drive for excellence was part of his nature. But all this did was make him worse. Constantly worried about what others thought, less and less people approached him. Maybe… maybe Papyrus _wasn’t_ as great as he thought he was.

He became isolated. Alone. Unable to relate with other creatures. The labels grew to haunt him. He saw and heard them everywhere. Freak. Weirdo. Obnoxious. Loud. Strange. Stupid. Losing his confidence, the greater part of Papyrus’ personality, too, became dormant.

The husk of what remains of him trembles at Cooldrake’s question. What’s the answer? What do they want him to say? Of course _he_ doesn’t know. He is just Papyrus. He doesn’t know anything. A useless pile of bones. The town _freak_. He’ll _never_ make any friends. What is he thinking? It’s impossible. He’s going to be alone forever and ever in a world where everyone hates him and he will never amount to anything and his life will be ruined and he will feel terrible forever and he’s taking too long to answer the question and these monsters must be thinking he is weird and they will tell all of _their_ friends to stay away from him and even less people will like him and… and… and… The anxiety begins to kick in. He starts shaking. He can’t handle this anymore.

The monsters stare at him, waiting for an answer. Sweat runs down Papyrus’ face as he continues panicking. His non-existent heart feels like it is pounding out of its chest. “I… I…” He needs to get out of here. The adrenaline is kicking in. In a fight or flight situation, Papyrus only really has one choice. He bolts away without even explaining himself.

He reaches his cardboard box in the forest. A home is too expensive for a monster who can’t face others. Retreating into the thin board, he slams the makeshift door behind him and huddles into his tattered blanket. “WHY MUST I LIKE PUZZLES?!!” He screams, thrusting his limbs against the ground until they crack. The pain is helpful. Necessary. A way of physically channelling his turmoil. Hearing the sound of bones breaking, he stops to heal them. Can’t have people seeing. Then he repeats the process, relishing in the punishment he deserves, until he falls asleep.

—

Core watches the two worlds. In the states they are in, it will be a matter of weeks before they both end up dead. The human won’t care. And the effects will reciprocate into every timeline after it. It is time to intervene. They must be taken to the Omega Timeline.

_But…_

A stray thought dances through Core’s mind. Perhaps there is another way. A simpler way. Sans without Papyrus and Papyrus without Sans are incomplete beings. So what happens when two broken halves of a whole meet?


	2. Chapter 2

Sans detects the presence that suddenly appears in his house. He might be a complete mess, but you can never forget the signs of teleportation. They’re drilled into his muscle memory forever. He grunts. This is a new experience for him, but it still ultimately doesn’t matter.

“Hello Sans.” Core says politely. He just continues lying on the ground. Maybe they’ll go away.

They don’t.

An hour or so later, neither of them have moved. Sans is getting sick of this. If talking will make them go away, then maybe it’s worth it. “…teleporting’s a new one human. i’ll give you that.” He says slowly. It has been a while since he last spoke.

“Oh! I’m not your Frisk. I exist solely in the greater multiverse. You can call me Core.” He remains silent. If this Core person is supposed to impress him, they’ll need to try harder than that.

They realise that Sans won’t answer, and continue talking instead. “I’m here to help you, Sans. If you continue existing in this world the way you are, you will lose all traces of the will to live in exactly twenty six days.”

Twenty six days huh? _Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing…_ He thinks. Core frowns at them. “And I obviously don’t want that to happen to you Sans. I care about you.”

“funny thing to say from someone i’ve never met.” He retorts. Core pauses.

“There’s something wrong with your universe, Sans. You see, normally - in about 99% of the worlds within the multiverse - you have a brother. Someone to keep you tethered to reality. But you don’t have that, Sans. And it’s killing you.” Sans eats this in. The words this funny human are saying make him want to listen for some reason.

“how can I miss someone i’ve never met?” He should just go back to sleep. This human should just go away and leave him to his emptiness. Yet he asked the question anyway. Huh. Maybe some part of him _does_ still want to live.

“The bond between you and your brother… it’s indescribable, Sans. I’ve seen it transcend any bounds of logic or sense. I don’t really have an answer for you.”

“so I’m the messed up leftovers that got the raw end of the deal huh? i’m missing somethin?”

“I wouldn’t put it like that… but in essence, yes. The reason i came here though, Sans, is because you aren’t the only universe to have this mistake. There’s another… _leftover_ as you put it, that i think might be able to help you, while at the same time helping it.”

“my so-called _brother_ huh?”

Core nods. “Would you like to meet them Sans?”

—

A knock comes on Papyrus’ cardboard door. He wakes up in shock, and checks to see that all his bones have healed properly. They have, thank goodness. He gets up nervously. Wowee, two encounters in one week? This is a treat… or bad luck. Both names work, he supposed. But treat sounds nicer at least. He moves forward and opens the papery flap. Core stands on the other side, smiling at him. “Hello, Papyrus.”

This person knows his name? Papyrus feels excited. But this probably means someone else had told them about him. Which means they must have heard the rumours. They must already know what a freak he is. The excitement fades seconds after it rises.

“My name is Core. I am a being that exists solely in the greater multiverse. I’ve come here to help you, Papyrus.” They finish with a small smile. Papyrus blinks at them. _Help_ him? It’s a word he hasn’t heard in a very long time.

“H-h-how?” He stutters quietly.

Core looks down sombrely. “If you continue the way you’re going Papyrus, you will accidentally kill yourself in a month. I want to stop that.”

Papyrus stiffens. He doesn’t want to die! Not yet… not like this. Not in a world where no one would mourn him. He would be forgotten. Just more pointless dust in the snow. No one cares about him. He starts shivering. Core reaches out to touch his arm consolingly. But Papyrus flinches at the physical contact. The shaking gets worse. Core sighs. Perhaps mentioning his death wasn’t the best approach.

“I want to introduce you to your brother. I think it might be good for you, Papyrus. And him.” Papyrus looks at Core warily. His bones are still rattling. “I-I don’t have a brother. You… must be mistaking me for someone cooler.”

“In this world, no. But normally, across the many worlds in the multiverse, you do Papyrus. And I’ve found one who is also missing someone. Just like you. Someone who could become your brother. Would you like to meet them?”

A… brother? The word makes him feel all fuzzy. What must that be like? To have a family. Someone who actually loves you… And a brother no less! Someone around his age. More than family really. A _friend_. But he’s not very good at keeping friends, is he? They’d probably just get sick of him. They’d probably want nothing to do with him. But even then… they’d still be his brother. Nothing could change that if they were truly related… It was a relationship that couldn’t fail! A small smile slips on his face at the thought. What a nice dream.

“I can take you to him right now Papyrus. If you’re ready.”

Oh! He’d forgotten that this is real. He is actually going to have a _brother_?! It sounds too good to be true. He looks down at himself. Goodness, he should clean up if he wants to make a good impression!

“E-excuse me for a moment.” He mumbles and rapidly closes the door behind him. He holds back a squeal. Jumping up and down, he grabs his lucky scarf and checks his arms again for scratch marks. Nothing. Good. He was ready.

Core watches in amusement as the small box jangles around with Papyrus’ motion. He exits the shack slightly happier than he did entering it.

“Take my hand, Papyrus. This might make you a bit dizzy.”

—

Sans sighs. “why not. it doesn’t change anything.”

Core blurs for a moment and the two instances of them become one, bringing Papyrus with them. Heh. That was fast.

Papyrus leans over and throws up on Sans’ wooden floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to throw some originality in there somewhere :D And making Paps throw up for no reason is definitely original heheh.


	3. Chapter 3

“Err… Sans, this is Papyrus. Papyrus, this is Sans.” Core gestures awkwardly to the two monsters. Papyrus wipes the vomit from his mouth. Sans looks at the puddle on the floor. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t really care about this dump anyway.

Papyrus instantly moves to apologise. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so…” He is such an idiot. His clumsiness is ruining everything! Sans will never like him! He is such a terrible brother! He’s so pathetic… _No_. He can’t break down now. Not when so much is at stake. He feels the pressure build in his chest. The feeling makes him want to tear at his shirt. But he keeps it contained. He will control this. He can’t afford to mess it up. Besides, the pain can be released later…

Sans shifts to create space between him and Papyrus. Does this skeleton ever shut up? He won’t stop apologising. Honestly, Sans doesn’t really care what this other guy thinks, but listening to him babble annoys him. All this _focussing_ on things is tiring. With a shrug of his shoulders, he mumbles “s’okay. doesn’t matter.” That seems to stop the talking. What a relief.

Core looks between the two. This is going badly. But they have faith that it will work, so it will have to do. They address the next comment to Sans. “The two of you will have four weeks outside of your normal time loop to become acquainted. What Papyrus will remember beyond that is up to your Frisk to decide.”

Tch. The stupid monster doesn’t even remember the resets? Sans thought this Core person said meeting his brother would _help_. How much can another corpse change anything?

Core turns to look at both of them again. “If either of you attempt to mortally harm yourselves, I _will_ intervene. And if it comes to that, I will take both of you to the Omega Timeline for your own sakes.” They frown and continue less sternly. “But I sincerely hope it doesn’t have to come to that.”

Both skeletons look away for a second, embarrassed. Neither is used to such parent-figure concern. Sans is first to move past the feeling.

“sure. whatever core.”

They take one last look at the two brothers. Sans is already half-asleep, ready to collapse at any moment. Papyrus is fisting his old gloves so tightly, the fabric is close to tear. The two are both ticking time bombs.

...Core hopes they aren’t wrong about this. They disappear, dispersing the presence across other iterations of themself. There’s nothing more they can do. It’s up to _them_ now.

— — —

Sans looks at Papyrus lazily. He opens his jaw to speak, so Sans starts walking to away. “Um… it’s nice to meet-“ Sans opens the door and walks out.

“It’s nice to meet you!” Papyrus yells as he disappears towards Grillby’s. When he doesn’t turn around, Papyrus drops the act and wraps his arms around himself, shaking.

— — —

The bar entrance chimes when Sans walks in. A few monsters look up, then sigh in disgust when they see Sans’ dirty blue jacket. He trudges to his familiar stool and sits down. Stupid Core. What? Did they think that introducing some third party was going to _change_ anything? Nothing changes down here. He knows that too well.

Grillby extends an empty glass towards Sans questioningly. He always does this. Probably hoping to get some sort of response. But Sans knows he doesn’t need to give one. Staring blankly at the wall, eventually Grillby begins filling it with ketchup. It hurts him to see his friend like this, he wishes that Sans would simply tell him _why_. Little does he know that in tens of timelines, Sans had done just that. Whatever. Sans doesn’t care about him. Not any more. _Sans doesn’t care about anything_. The policy makes things less painful for everyone involved.

The bell attached to the door rings again. Sans just gulps down more ketchup. “Excuse me… have you seen a skeleton named Sans?” It’s Papyrus. Sans feels the stares aimed towards him. He doesn’t care. There’s a long pause before someone jerks a thumb in Sans direction. Traitor. Recognising the stout ball of blue, Papyrus moves closer to him. “I… I mopped up the floor.” He says awkwardly. Sans doesn’t even blink an eye. The other customers are curious now. It’s not often someone tries talking to _Sans_. Papyrus exhales sharply. “Look, i know we got off to a bad start. But I’m honestly happy to meet you Sans. You are my brother after all.” Whispers spread across the room like wildfire. A _brother?_ Sans has a brother? Grillby tries to silence them with a stern glare, but it doesn’t stop anything. The rumour has already picked up momentum.

Someone in the corner starts laughing. “You’re Sans’ _brother_?” Papyrus folds in on himself. All the people in this place are terrifying him. Turning to the person, he quietly stutters “Y-y-yes.” A few more monsters join in the laughter. “You? You’ve kidding me. Sans ain’t got no brother. You’re lying.” He’s too terrified to respond. All eyes are on him, their gazes pierce him like lasers. Sans feels his chair start to shake. Papyrus has unconsciously left his hand on its back for support.

The noise in the bar picks up. Muted voices scatter across the space in a frenzy. Sans has had enough. “he’s my bro.” he mutters, tilting his head to get the sauce at the bottom of the bottle. Silence. Shock. Sans _spoke_. Grillby looks on at the scene in surprise. It’s been so long since he heard his voice. Snapping out of it, he takes control of the situation and the crowd dies down. The whispering doesn’t stop, but it has become less radicalised at least.

“Did… did you really mean that Sans?” Papyrus asks, his voice choking up. He’d called him _bro_. It was the first time anyone had ever admitted to being associated with him. Ever. Tears begin to well up in his eyes. “Can I really be your brother?”

Sans flinches at the look of hope in Papyrus’ eyes. What has he gotten himself into? He was tired. The noise was too distracting. He made it stop by speaking. That’s all it was. Right? Thinking about it is too much effort. With a shrug, he just nods his head. Why not. If no one matters, there’s no difference if he’s got a brother as well. At least, that’s what he tells himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Papyrus returns to Sans’ large house. How he can afford such a thing, Papyrus has no idea. But he appreciates it anyway. The door is conveniently unlocked. Looking around the hallway again, he notices the mess he was too distracted to detect with his last visit. He gasps. The place is a nightmare from hell itself. Dirt along the walls and floor, furniture thrown aside, clothes left in mountainous piles before him: Papyrus simply can’t stand for it. Without even thinking about it, he moves forward and starts picking up the mess.

Room by room, he progressively cleans the filthy place. After organising the discarded objects on the floor, he focusses on destroying the other stains that remain. The repetitive cycle of scrubbing gives him a feeling of deep satisfaction and calms him down. Things will get better. They _have_ to get better. Sans had called him his brother. This is a sign. Things are looking up! He bends down further to reach a cobweb. He will try _twice_ as hard. That should get his attention. If he does something weird, he will simply have to smother it with good brotherly actions. It’s the only solution.

The door slams open. Sans is back. And he’s more drunk than usual. What had happened here? He looks around the pristine room, swaying lightly. Did they… reset? No. This was more than what a reset could do. His house had _never_ been this clean, even before the resets. He thought Core had said no more restarts for another month. He thought he had more _time_. A crazed laugh exits his throat. Normally the resets don’t matter to him, but with this much ketchup in his system, it’s hard to remember to stay lifeless.

Papyrus moves from the cupboard he was cleaning to the main hall to greet him. He puts on his fake smile and prepares to be optimistic. Hopefully his cleaning makes up for the embarrassing situation he put Sans in, standing up for him like that. “I-I cleaned up a little while you were-“

“ **you** did this?” Sans spits. He swaggers closer to Papyrus. The thought of a reset has put him on edge. He is more than annoyed, he is _pissed off_. “what gave you the idea that i wanted you to do **anything**! you… you touched my **stuff**! what the **hell** do you think you were doing?”

Papyrus cringes at Sans’ voice. Oh no. He’d done the wrong thing. Oh no no no no. Sans marches up to his chest, and shoves Papyrus enough to make him stumble backwards. “get out of my house! get out of my life you… you…” He can’t think of a proper insult with his head full of ketchup. “you… **clean person**!” He screams like an idiot.

Papyrus’ eyes go empty. He drops the charade of perkiness and crumples to the floor in tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so useless. I can’t do anything right and now my own brother hates me and i’m going to be sent back and I’ll be all alone and no one will speak to me and I’ll be all alone again and what I’m saying right now is probably just making me look even weirder and you’re going to be disgusted with me and kick me out and I’ll have to go back to a world where everyone hates me and face all the jokes again and all the insults and I’ll have to face all those people who don’t like me and I’ll go back to being a freak and… and I’m not sure I can _take_ this anymore and I want to just disappear and I wish I didn’t exist and I can’t go back, I can’t go back to that after you were nice enough to call me your brother and I’m such a terrible person for betraying my own BROTHER and you must hate me now too and now I’m brother-less again and I’m all alone and everyone’s right, I’m a stupid FREAK and… and… and…” He starts convulsing on the floor and rambling senseless words.

Sans’ mood swings as quickly as it came. He looks at the skeleton huddled on his now-clean floor. How can so many words come from one mouth? What happens next is purely instinct. Because regardless of the AU, a Sans cannot physically bear to see a Papyrus like that. His body reacts in a way that’s so natural, Sans doesn’t even question it. He steps closer to Papyrus faster than he can blink and wraps his arm around him. Papyrus shudders at the touch then calms down and leans into the feeling of his brother’s embrace. The two begin a gentle rock, forward and backward, that soothe them both. Forward. Backward. Forward. Backward. They grip eachother more tightly. Everything about the situation feels _right_ on a primal level that neither skeleton realised they had. _What the hell am I doing?_ Sans thinks to himself. He feels so warm in Papyrus’ arms but at the same time still comfortable. _What the actual hell am I doing right now?_ Papyrus lets out a small whimper and Sans strokes his back tenderly out of habit that never should have existed. His jacket is stained with tears now, but Sans doesn’t care about that. Here, in this place, in this moment, he feels… something he has never felt before. What would he call it? Happiness? Peace? Closure? None of the words seem to be able to describe it. Papyrus nuzzles his head into Sans’ shoulder. It makes Sans feel the sensation even more. He hums quietly into Papyrus’ ear to calm him. _Love_. The word strikes him harder than anything he’s ever felt and fills him with warmth. The two are so close to eachother they might as well be one person. He doesn’t even want to fight it. Examining the feeling, he throws all his thoughts aside and just _goes with it_. “you… you’re not a freak, pap.” The nickname made up in the moment sticks. Papyrus’ muttering hushes down. He starts crying again at full force and drives his whole skull against Sans’ hoodie, twitching. Sans pats his back and closes his eyes. Here, in this position, they lay locked all night. They fall asleep in eachother’s arms. It feels nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you... clean person! Gasp. The most insulting of insults right there. Do NOT get on sans bad side when he's drunk people. Ok, I'm having fun with this again. As serious as i'm trying to make it, these quirky moments can't help but write themselves in.
> 
> As for Pap and Sans, we have successfully developed some kind of 'bond' between them I think. (i hope) I like to think that predetermined in every Sans and Pap is a brother instinct :D (even the Fells in their own twisted way...)


	5. Chapter 5

It’s some ridiculously early time in the morning. Sans doesn’t want to wake up. He doesn’t want to have to face another day. Nothing matters. Ha. That night - everything they just did. It doesn’t matter. Eventually everyone will just forget. Like always. Everyone always forgets. He doesn’t move. At all. He’s lost the energy to do anything, trapped in Papyrus’ arms.

———

Papyrus wakes. He realises with a start that he’s still against Sans. “...” He snuggles a little more into his jacket. “Did... did you really.... DID YOU REALLY MEAN WHAT YOU SAID?” He asks, finally using his normal voice. It’s been so long. He hasn’t spoken like this in forever. But it feels natural to be able to speak like this with Sans. With Sans, he feels ever-so-slightly better about himself. 

The words bounce around in Sans head. He knows they’re supposed to mean something, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing does. Papyrus looks at Sans and sees his eyes - devoid from any expression. “SANS?” He doesn’t even blink. “SANS!” When Papyrus moves his arm, Sans drops helplessly onto the floor. 

———

After some amount of time (The details don’t matter. Time is pointless anyway) Sans sluggishly lifts his head. He wants to go back. He wants to go back to feeling empty. Why did he wake up? But Papyrus’ voice presses through the murky thoughts. “…Sans? OH, THANK GOODNESS!” Bones crush him and he blinks. “I WAS SO WORRIED! IT WAS LIKE YOU WERE SLEEPWALKING, BUT WITH YOUR EYES OPEN AND EMPTY...” 

“papyrus?” Lunch is made and he has been lifted up to sit on a chair next to Papyrus. There’s a fork in his hand and he realises Papyrus had been trying to feed him. “I SUSPECTED YOU WERE A LITTLE LESS MOTIVATED THAN I WAS SANS, BUT REALLY! SLEEPING IN FOR SO LONG... WHAT A LAZY BONES!” Papyrus is chattering happily, but there is an awkwardness to his tone. Sans remembers the events from last night. The ketchup made some parts fuzzy but he recalls the general gist. “ah, geez. pap...” 

Papyrus realises he is accidentally speaking his normal volume and shyly lowers his voice. “DO YOU... do you like my spaghetti?” He interrupts nervously.

He had found the stale pasta randomly stashed in one of the cupboards yesterday. The dish looks and tastes like rubber. But Sans eats it anyway. He’s never been a picky eater. Papyrus avoids eye contact. ”...I wanted to thank you. For lying to me last night. For saying those things to make me feel better.” 

Sans looks at him. That’s seriously what he thinks? That it was just a lie? He back pedals.  _Why should i care what he thinks. It doesn’t matter_. … But the problem is it  _does_ matter, doesn’t it? The realisation annoys Sans so much. Stupid Core. He’s going to go and get his hope broken to pieces all over again, isn’t he? But looking at the poor skeleton - no, his  _brother’s_  - face, he can’t keep up his walls. “they, uh, they weren’t lies... bro.” Why did he have to go and say bro?  _Stupid. Stupid._  

Papyrus just sighs. “You don’t need to keep this up Sans. I’m used to it. People say it to me all the time anyway.” Sans gets frustrated. Here he is, risking  _everything_  to say these things to him, and Papyrus won’t even believe him? It drives him up the walls. He lifts his head and with alert pupils stares Papyrus dead in the eyes. “pap. you’re  **not**  a freak.” Why was this such a big deal to him? He should just give up and go back to pretending it doesn’t matter. He should just shrug this off. “you’re the coolest guy i know, papyrus.”

His brother’s hands tremble. “Stop... stop saying these things Sans. You’re making me... making me wish they were true.” He’s blinking rapidly to fight tears in his eyes. Sans slams his fist on the table. The plates of spaghetti clatter. “how many times do i have to say it? they  **are**  true!” The two rise facing eachother in a stand-off of glares. This is the most alive Sans has felt in hundreds of timelines. 

Papyrus looks into Sans eye sockets. He can’t have meant what he said. He just  _can’t_. Why would he care about him? They weren’t even real brothers! He was just lying to him. Saying these things so that he could mock him later on. Other monsters had tried  _that_ before. ‘Let’s play with the freak and watch him get excited over nothing!’ He’d fallen into that trap too many times to count. And the stupid thing was? He  _wanted_ to! He  _wanted_ to hear them lie to them. He  _wanted_ to pretend he was important. He happily went through it again and again, letting them walk all over him. But this is too much. He can’t let himself believe that Sans is actually telling the truth. He can’t bear having him break his heart too. Not Sans.

“JUST SAY IT ALREADY! TELL ME THAT I’M A WEIRD, GULLIBLE, OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD FREAK AND BE DONE WITH THIS! PLEASE! I CAN’T PLAY THIS GAME ANYMORE!” He begs. The time for stuttering is over. He can’t keep pretending that Sans doesn’t make him comfortable to speak this way. 

Sans smiles sadly. Dammit. He really does care about this skeleton. “you’re my brother, papyrus. you could be every one of those things for all i care - and it still wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t change the fact i think you’re the coolest.”

Papyrus doesn’t know what to say. Sans eases back into his chair. This caring business is exhausting. “but uh, that being said. you aren’t a freak pap.” He yawns.  _Trust me, i’ve_ ** _met_** _freaks_ he thinks to himself. He digs out another forkful of spaghetti. 

Papyrus sits down as well. His posture is straighter than before. “SO, DO YOU REALLY LIKE MY SPAGHETTI?” He asks uncertainly.  
“it’s the worst thing i’ve ever tasted in my life, bro. but yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that escalated quickly. What? We get Sans having a low day, Paps staring his demons head on AND Sans admitting he thinks pap is cool all in one chapter. You'd almost think that the crazy writer had written this at 1am and wanted to throw in all the drama they had in their head without ANY of the pacing... But that's just silly, right?


	6. Chapter 6

“DO YOU HAVE TO GO TO GRILLBY’S?”

Sans goes quiet for a moment. The upbeat buzz from earlier is starting to fade and he’s not sure how much longer he can keep this… _thing_ going on without it. “hey, it’s not like you can’t come with y’know,” he yawns.

Papyrus twists his face. He doesn’t want to go in that place again. He doesn’t want to face those people. Instead of saying these negative things though, he finds an excuse. “BUT… IT’S SO GREASY!” Sans stops for a moment. A weak smile flickers across his face. _Heh, greasy. There’s a joke to be made-_ It suddenly drops. As if a switch is flipped in his skull, he drowns in the realisation that this still all amounts to nothing. Pointless. Papyrus turns and looks back at his brother. “SANS?” He’s run out of motivation to reply. _Sorry Pap._ With a small grunt, he steps inside. _It’s better this way._

———

Five dull thuds to reach his seat. He doesn’t think he could speak another word even if he wanted to. A glass is held up in front of him. _What. Ever._ Grillby pulls back the glass with a sigh. The monsters are in a stir seeing Sans. Weaved into every conversation, the word _brother_ somehow manages to stand out. He just sips his ketchup. A few glance at him, hoping he won’t notice. He does. But he makes no sign of reacting.

One of them snorts. “Hey, look outside.” Sans continues gazing down his glass.

_‘What’s he doing?’ ‘Waiting for_ **_him_ ** _i think.’ ‘Pffft._ **_What?_ ** _’ ‘He must be his babysitter now.’ ‘Worse than a babysitter. Atleast babies react when you talk to them.’ ‘What idiot would ever willingly take that job?’_

Giggles spread across the tables. Sans watches a bubble pop in his sauce with disinterest.

_‘Man, is he just going to stand there or…?’ ‘Probably doesn’t realise he’s in for the long haul’ ‘Someone’s gotta tell him…’ ‘Shots not me!’ ‘…I’m going to talk to him.’_

The door opens and monsters start gathering around the window. Sans stares blankly at a wall.

_‘5G he drops the skeleton before the end of the week.’ ‘10G he doesn’t last the night!’ ‘How do you reckon he’ll react?’ ‘What? To learning his brother’s a good for nothing drunk? How’s he supposed to react?’ ‘Good point.’ ‘I feel kinda sorry for the guy…’ ‘If he’s got any sense he’ll move on quick fast.’ ‘Shhhh! He’s telling him…’_

The room goes dead quiet. Sans, too, is quiet.

_‘Why isn’t he leaving?’ ‘What did he say? I couldn’t hear.’ ‘None of us could you idiot.’ ‘Wait, is he… shaking?’ ‘Guys! Look, they’re trying to explain again.’ ‘He looks like he’s about to cry…’ ‘Nah, you’re just seeing things.’_

The door opens as a bunny walks inside, letting Papyrus’ voice rings through the bar. “E-even so, I-I think… I think I’ll j-just wait.” Sans hand goes stiff raising the ketchup to his mouth. He continues drinking like it didn’t happen.

_‘Aww. Well that ruins the drama.’ ‘You owe me 10G.’ ‘Hey! The night isn’t over yet!’ ‘He’s an odd one, alright.’ ‘Heh. Maybe they’ll make a matching set.’ ‘I still don’t like this…’ ‘Nothing to be done. We can’t_ **_make_ ** _him go away.’ ‘…I’m going out there too.’ ‘You don’t have another one of those stupid ideas in your head, do you?’ ‘I’m just going to talk to him’ ‘What? Like you ‘talked’ to the last guy?’ ‘That was different.’ ‘Sure it was.’_

A chair creaks as someone stands up. The door chimes as they exit. Sans closes his eyes.

_‘Maybe he’ll keep his temper in check this time…’ ‘Tch. There’s no_ **_maybe_ ** _about it.’ ‘Ooh. Looks like he’s still not moving.’ ‘Is he trying to prove some point or something?’ ‘No idea.’ ‘Ah! There it is. The hand on the shoulder-’_

A loud crash interrupts the conversation. Bones surround the two monsters outside. Magic spreads to the group standing by the window, the six souls turning a startling shade of blue. They dangle, feet above the ground, in shock. “Is that the brother’s doing?” Someone whispers from a nearby table in fear. But Papyrus is still standing outside, lost to the world after the unexpected physical contact.

“ **don’t touch my brother.** ” The monster who touched Papyrus’ shoulder turns around to see Sans standing behind him. His face is no longer blank. Now it’s just cold. Cold and _angry_. “apologise.” He snaps. “ **now**.”

Papyrus lifts up his head. “Sans… y-you’re being rude.” He whispers. The two monsters turn to Papyrus and say sorry. Satisfied, Sans turns to the floating souls. “papyrus is **not** my glorified babysitter. he is **not** odd. and there is **absolutely no reason** he shouldn’t wait for me.” He walks closer to them. “ **say it.** ”

“Say what?” One of them asks defiantly.  
“tell papyrus he’s **not odd**.” Sans tilts his head. “in fact, i’ve got a better idea. tell him that he’s **great.** ”  
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”  
A bone presses against their face in an instant. Any closer, and it would have broken skin.  
“he is ten times the monster you ever will be.” Sans scathes, without a trace of doubt.

There’s a pause. “You’re… great Papyrus.” The different voices all babble over top of each other.  
_“_ damn right he is.” Sans growls.

“hey pap!” His voice is loud enough that everyone can listen. Papyrus isn’t sure whether he should be crying for joy or worrying about all the monsters Sans just threatened. He looks at his brother, still mildly stunned. “if anyone calls you names again, you tell me. alright?” Papyrus doubts very much that telling on someone will earn him any friends. And he certainly doesn’t want _this_ to happen to anyone else. But making the name-calling stop _would_ be nice… “O-okay brother.” He replies. There will always be a chance to get out of this agreement later. Once Sans calms down.

He nods. Walking back to his chair, he speaks loud and clearly. “i don’t care what you think of me. but papyrus deserves **none** of this. got it?”

———

Grillby looks at Sans as he sits back down. He places a burger in front of him. “………….. …………… … Welcome back”  
The worst burger on the menu, their inside joke. _So he still remembers after all this time._ “shut up.” Sans sighs. “…and get me more ketchup.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans being dangerouuussss!!! Because it makes me so happy to watch him just stand up and completely tear some place apart proving a point for his brother. I still love that line: "damn right he is". It's so... so... SATISFYING!
> 
> And we get a little more of that Sansby friendship going on. The worst burger on the menu is mentioned in a true pacifist route thing. Figured i'd use it as an inside joke, Sans deliberately ordering it to rub it in Grillby's face or something :P.
> 
> Also, I shall never forget you, 6 monster extras who i had completely pictured in my mind but didn't bother describing because it wasn't relevant. The dialogue in that group was on point i'd say. (proud of myself)
> 
> Easter egg: did you see me almost use my username there? No? Neither did i until i got ready to post this. So i'm mentioning it. Here. For no reason. Woooohooo!


	7. Chapter 7

_Oh Sans. If only you knew._ Papyrus thinks to himself miserably as he stands by the window. It’s cracked now, from where his brother had thrust bodies against it.

He’s happy. It feels so unnatural for him to say but he feels, for the first time in forever, genuinely happy. Isn’t that sick? _Great, great. great, great, great._ The word won’t go away. Every time he listens to it, the compliment just sounds more wrong in his skull. What did he do to deserve all this kindness? Papyrus already knows the answer. **Nothing**. He’s done nothing to deserve it. All he’s done in this world is be where he’s not wanted. Sans’ house, Grillby’s, this universe… He may be a stupid useless monster, but he’s not a complete idiot. He saw the way those monsters looked at him. That wasn’t admiration, that was annoyance. It was _painful_ for them to call him that. The realisation makes Papyrus want to scream. He _made_ them feel that way. He caused them that pain. He made them lie to his face. He’s not great, he’s terrible. And yet he’s still happy about it. Happy in their agony, how selfish.

He looks on at his brother. Truly, Sans cares about him more than any monster ever has. He… he thinks Papyrus is a better person than he actually is. Papyrus will never tell him so. Not when it makes him so happy. Because beneath those empty eyes, Papyrus can tell. He is happy. Or, atleast, happier than the first time they met. Which makes it all worth it.

_Great_. The word strikes him again. Thinking it makes him flinch. He’s a terrible brother. For his own pleasure, he’s stringing Sans along. Letting him believe such nonsense. Papyrus isn’t important. Thinking so is only going to get him hurt when he finally realises the truth. But… still. He can’t find it in himself to be the one to ruin that for Sans. More than anything, he wants to continue to live in this game of make-believe and let them both pretend to be ok. That’s not great (he doesn’t remotely deserve the word) but it’s good enough for right now.

Like a stupid statue, he continues to stand in the snow doing nothing. Because Sans might not realise it, but he has no where else to be. His cardboard box probably doesn’t even exist here. The only place he’s really welcome is Sans’ house. And the last time he stayed there by himself Sans yelled at him. Not that he blames him for it. Sure, he apologised afterwards, but it doesn’t change the fact that Papyrus had made him angry.

He thinks about where he might sleep tonight. His brother never properly presented him a room, and they can’t do… last night, every night. Not that Papyrus would mind that. With one word from Sans, he would wrap himself around him like his very life depended on it. But surely Sans has better things to do with his nights.

He’d noticed a shed, next to the house. Maybe there…? Or the doormat. The doormat had looked comfortable.

— — —

Sans wants to drink until he couldn’t feel his face. It is official. _Sans-doesn’t-care_ has an exception. There's no backing out now. He doesn’t regret it one bit, mind you. Papyrus doesn’t need to get involved in all this crap. He was used it, but Pap… He remembers how he’d cried last night, the way he’d trembled at his touch. This lifestyle would break him.

The pointless fools around him all watch from a distance. They have no idea what is wrong with him. What had that other skeleton done to him? What could possibly have made _Sans_ do _anything_? He lets them make their guesses. _It won’t matter when the human comes_. Sans thinks smugly. Having actual food with his ketchup makes it taste surprisingly better. Maybe Grillby was onto something there… Whatever.

Grillby isn’t leaving him alone. Even when addressing other customers, he can feel the glances the ball of fire is giving him. Kinda hard not to when it literally warms up his stool when he does. Sans drowns down another bottle. _This doesn’t change anything._ He tells himself. The world is still doomed to repeat the same pointless loop. His actions still mean nothing. These people still mean nothing. Caring about anything is still a pointless task that isn’t worth the effort. And Papyrus? Well…. he’s a special case. But that shouldn’t change anything.

Ha. ‘Welcome back’? Grillby will learn soon enough. He’s just as empty as before. They’ll see. As long as the ketchup keeps coming, that will be enough.

— — —

It isn’t working. He’s definitely drunk but he’s not drifting off like usual. _This is taking too long. Why can’t this ketchup kick in faster?_ It occurs to him that maybe it’s not the ketchup that drives him unconscious these days. But he shakes away the thought. _Stop making sense, stupid head. It’s ketchup’s fault. Okay?_ Sans head, predictably, doesn’t argue. He tries resting his head on his arms. Maybe the position will help. It doesn’t.

Why can’t he sleep? He’s done it plenty of times here. An itch floats around the corners of his skull. Ughh. He doesn’t want to face it. Can’t he just stop feeling again? That would be nice.

A few more seconds pass. He lifts up his head and re-settles it on his arms in resignation. _Fiiiinnnne_ he mutters rebelliously in his head.

Sans faces the lingering thought. It’s Papyrus. Is he even surprised at this point? This brother thing is really messing with his whole style. His non-existent brain is trying to tell him something. The ketchup is making it hard to keep up though. _Slow down skull, I can’t run as fast as you with your… your… mind leg thingies. I wonder if you have little shoes for your little running legs? Little itty bitty baby shoes…_ Wait. Is Pap still waiting out there for him?

He almost stumbles off his chair. Pap. Pappy. PapPap. Doesn’t he know it’s too cold out there? Probably. Isn’t it… what’s that stupid word? Flaky white things falling down. He looks out the window. Yeah. It is. He’d have gone home by now right? He shoulda. Shoulda… Shoulda… He should check. No harm in that right? Just a harmless little stroll across this room. He gets up and sways to the door. It takes a while to open it. The little piece of metal called a doorknob doesn’t like him today.

He looks around. See? No Pap. He’s gone… A flicker of red catches his attention. Covered in a thin layer of snow, Papyrus looks up at his astonished face. “Oh… Hello brother. Are you done?” Papyrus is still too uncomfortable with this public place to speak casually with him. He looks at his brother with concern. He had noticed Sans struggle with the door that had a big PUSH sign next to it, trying in vain to turn some handle that wasn’t there.

Sans wobbles in place, blinking at him. “bro… pap-pap?” He says, child-like. “no… no… you… we go, need to. it’s… cold. too cold.” He leans forward to move Papyrus but just falls over instead.

“…Sans?” Papyrus leans down.

“snow… not good on your clothes pap. we should go home.” He just nods and picks up Sans with his bony arms. “no… pap-pap… no… i can walk…” He argues. It’s obvious that he can’t.

Carrying his brother, Papyrus walks the two of them back to Sans’ house. As he makes his way up the staircase, Sans starts complaining again. “no… floor will do… just put me down…” Papyrus looks down at him. Did… did Sans not like sleeping on beds either? He could relate with that. After all, Papyrus was no better than any wild animal. But Sans? Surely he deserved the comfort. He keeps moving. Reaching the bedroom to the far right, he places Sans’ lumpy form onto the freshly-made bed. The protests quieten down as he lies against the mattress.

— — —

Papyrus smiles weakly. Sans looks comfortable. He moves to the door when a voice makes him stop. “…stay?” Papyrus turns around again. Sans is sitting up, looking at Papyrus.

“I THOUGHT YOU’D BE ASLEEP BY NOW.” He chuckles softly. Sans shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “i’m not entirely gone yet” He says slowly. “stay.”

Papyrus pulls up a fake smile. “SANS, I CAN’T SLEEP WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT.” Sans frowns at this. “then where will you go?” He asks, with drunk curiosity. Papyrus fidgets with his scarf. He had really hoped Sans wouldn’t need to be involved in this. “I WAS… I WAS THINKING… THE DOORMAT.” He admits.

Sans sways for a second. He looks up again, slightly more lucid. “now, that was funny. i thought you just said the **doormat**.” Papyrus just focusses on his scarf. “…pap?” He looks up in shame. Sans notices at the expression and sighs. “pap…”

“WE DON’T NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS NOW… WE CAN WAIT UNTIL THE MORNING! ONCE YOU’R’E FEELING-”

“pap.” The word stops Papyrus. A headaches comes over Sans. He suddenly wishes he was a bit more sober. “we… we will talk in the morning. but you’re sleeping on a freaking bed papyrus! now… just get over here already.” He starts yawning and closing his eyes. Silence. Then, with a creak, Papyrus sits next to Sans. He’s too tired to argue as well. Satisfied, Sans curls up on the blankets and Papyrus awkwardly squeezes in next to him. “night pap.” He whispers. Papyrus closes his eyes, instinctively relaxing.

“…GOODNIGHT SANS.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did i make sans drunk just so i could make him call his brother PapPap and walk into doors? ...maybe. I also died of laughter thinking about Frozen when I wrote Pap thinking 'for the first time in forever' Pffft. What is wrong with me? I'm having too much fun with all of this. 
> 
> ...Also, i freaked out realising that the way the two of them refer to 'that night' and sleeping in the same bed sounds... suspicious. Trust me, this isn't fontcest, ok? Purely platonic sibling affection going on here :)
> 
> Side note: wow, i never expected those first 6 chapters to get so many views so quickly. Thanks :D Hope you enjoy, i guess? (is enjoy the right word for this...? Meh) And comments are fun :D (Pap#1!!!)
> 
> I've tried writing fics trying to meet up to people's expectations before and that went about as well as a natural disaster... so i'm gonna keep writing this like 60 people HAVEN'T read it haha.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, so there's some things i want to just clarify (sorry to have to dump all this at the start)
> 
> Ok. If the note at the start didn't make it clear, I wrote out this thing for fun one night. I made no plans to make a full scale project out of it. I had no idea it would get this popular. I've never written something all angsty like this before. (heck, this is the fifth fanfic I've tried writing EVER) And I never mapped out exactly where i wanted to go with it. So... yeah. When it got 150 views i freaked out. 
> 
> Of course i'm going to keep writing it because i love this story. It's not hard to turn this into a full-fledged thing. But I don't want to be like that one snail at Napsta's farm and ThunderSnail myself until i catch on fire. This is your warning that I'm still an amateur at this. I'm not going to stress myself to death trying to achieve some delusion of perfect writing that I dream of but can't meet (this part is more for me than you, if you're ok with my quality so far, it should be fine ;D). 
> 
> Updates won't start becoming regular until I figure out the whole greater story, I've started planning it out over the last two days but I'm not exactly there yet.
> 
> Also, this work is my second priority rn. I've got another work  
> [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11119644/chapters/24819081) that i've been updating regularly for a bit that i'm loyally in love with writing too (hopefully the link works). It's nothing like this one at all (quite the opposite actually) but I'm proud of it :D
> 
> Oh, and some commenter kindly pointed out that there are inconsistencies with my Core Frisk versus the canon one I'm basing it off. Here's me letting people know I "haven't done my research" but I'm sticking with what I've written so far. I'll keep calling them Core (sorry). 
> 
> To the comment asking for fontcest? I'm just not. Because 1) i'm keeping this fic non-romantic and 2) I don't ship them that way myself. But if you do then feel free. That applies with Sansby stuff aswell. I personally appreciate their bonds of family and friendship too much to think that way!!! ;D
> 
> Hopefully that clears everything up (It does for me at least) and hopefully I don't have to add so many notes up here again. I've always preferred keeping them at the end.
> 
> Well, if that's everything, let's have some more fun with this! The big sections of italics are supposed to be flashback/Sans' dreams btw. So, so sorry to do this to you PapPap (forgive me)...

Papyrus opens his eyes and senses the light shining against Sans’ curtain. He looks over at the clock on the bedside table. Four hours’ sleep. A new record by his normal standards.

He knows can’t drift off again, even if he tries. The sensation of sleeping on an actual cushioned platform still feels wrong to him. Taking extra care to not wake Sans, Papyrus slips off the old mattress and eases out of the bed. He looks around the dark room. It’s so quiet, his own thoughts are deafening to him.

His concern seems to be unnecessary. Sans is sleeping so soundly Papyrus wouldn’t surprised if a jackhammer couldn’t wake him. “NYEH HEH HEH.” He chuckles softly at the thought. Now’s his chance. Leaving the room, he walks downstairs to the kitchen and looks through the drawers. A small butterknife. He’d found it when cleaning the house… before Sans came, that is.

He looks over to the staircase, Sans is still sleeping. He doesn’t know. It’s okay. He won’t know. He inspects the piece of metal a few times. Normally, thrashing his bones against the floor was a far easier and faster way to generate pain. But it is also messier. In his cardboard box, trying to be quiet or clean never really was an issue. Here, under Sans’ roof, Papyrus will have to be more… subtle.

— — —

_Sans opens the door to Grillbys and the ever-familiar bell chimes behind him. “Saannnnsss!” Everyone in the bar cheers. He grins and gives the monsters a cheeky wink before sitting in his usual place near Grillby. “grillbz! my man! ketchup’s on me tonight!” This makes everyone start celebrating. True, Sans is the only one who likes ketchup particularly, but they all appreciate the gesture. He’s everyone’s favourite regular._

_Grillby raises a fiery eyebrow at Sans as he settles down. “ahhh, don’t worry ‘bout it grillby. just put it on my tab.” He smiles at his little inside joke. No one realises that he’ll never have to pay his tab again. Among the flurry of partying in the room, Sans relaxes and starts sipping his own bottle._

_He’d be a liar if he said he didn’t find the situation disturbing. Time repeating itself over and over for no apparent reason scares the living hell out of him. But after the initial panic, he’d realised this wasn’t actually such a bad deal. All the time in Grillby’s he wants with none of the consequences. It’s a dream come true. One with a side order of frequent amnesia, yes, but still. There’s worse ways to spend your time._

_Grillby shakes his head in amusement. Sans laughs. “how’s your kid going?” He asks conversationally. Grillby’s daughter is doing fine, he already knows this, but it’s a custom to their dynamic so natural it’s too hard for him to break. “… …… ……. She’s doing fine.” Grillby responds eventually. Sans is used to being patient with him. He always was a quiet one, Grillby. But don’t let that trick you. When he’s angry, he can yell like the fires of hell itself._

_Guess he’s just a bit of a_ **_hothead_ ** _heheh, Sans reflects._

_“i’m telling ya grillbz, she’s going to be one_ **_hot_ ** _little_ **_flame_ ** _when she grows up. wonder if an old_ **_bone_ ** _like me might stand a chance…” Grillby rolls his eyes. He knows as well as Sans that his daughter is off limits. They’ve been friends for too long to go behind eachother’s backs like that. It’s an old joke, but a good one._

_Sans always makes sure to use new puns with every reset. Just because they don’t remember it doesn’t mean he should get away with using the same material twice. Finishing his bottle, he looks up, ready for the first course. “_ **_oil_ ** _have your greasiest burger, good sir. someone’s gotta keep the poor meal on the menu.” This makes Grillby sigh. He always does this. Every since he discovered the terrible burger existed, he orders it every time just to spite him. The funny thing is, Sans’ comment isn’t far from the truth. Sans’ constant orders of the disgusting thing were the only reason Grillby kept the dish on the menu at all. He moves behind the back to start cooking the meat with his fire magic when a noise makes him come running back out front._

_Someone crashes through the door, panting as though they’ve run the whole way. Turning in alarm Sans looks to see fear on the poor fella’s face. This isn’t supposed to happen. He’d repeated this point over twelve times now, and_ never _had someone done this._

 _“The human…” they whisper. Someone moves a little closer to hear them. “What are you yabbering about?”  
__“THE HUMAN!” They cry in horror. “They… they’re killing_ everyone. _”_

_The room goes dead quiet. He’s gotta be lying, right? By now the rumours that a human was running around Snowdin have spread. He knew how this went. They’d stroll through here, maybe stop to say hello and then galavant off to Asgore and somehow break the barrier. A real hero type. So what was this monster talking about? A light mumble spreads across the room._

_“THEY KILLED SNOWDRAKE! I saw it with my own eyes! We need to evacuate, NOW!” The monster starts begging.He really is worried. “I already told the others, they’re on their way to the Capital as we speak. Forget about packing. Leave whatever you have lying here and just_ **_run_ ** _. They’re probably coming for us right now…” He starts shaking._

_The dogs in the Royal Guard pull out their phones and check something. Barking in surprise, the three let out a hollow howl. It is the most depressing sound Sans has ever heard. People start standing up from their chairs nervously. The guards start encouraging monsters to move._

_Sans is confused. This isn’t supposed to happen. What was the kid doing? He had his suspicions this whole thing was somehow their fault. The way they spoke to him after that first reset… He’d had a gut feeling they knew what was happening. But this?_

_Grillby looks at his friend with a grim glare. “….. ….. …. Sans. We need to leave.” He hardly argues. Nodding, he stands up and offers his hand to Grillby. “grab on, i know a shortcut.” He’s not normally this blunt but he trusts Grillby with his life. So what if he learns he can teleport? The flaming hand grips his skeletal one and they vanish into thin air._

~

“no… no…” Sans mutters helplessly, trapped in the dream. He tosses in his sleep, wanting more than anything to wake up. But Papyrus can’t hear him.

— — —

Papyrus lightly presses the knife against his forearm a few times, trying to find the right angle to scrape it with. He finds it. The first contact is the most painful. Digging lightly into the bone, he carves a small curved line. His whole arm aches at the new cut. _Good._ He thinks. This is what he deserves. Not all that kindness. Not a loving brother or an actual bed or this world where people will leave him alone. _This_.

His hand shakes and he gives himself a second before moving in again. To the right of the curve, he adds a small vertical line. The bone turns to dust where it is torn from him. He brushes it away slightly to reveal the roughly carved ‘G’.

Becoming more familiar with the sting, he continues. The small scratching sounds bounce lightly around the room, soft but sharp in volume. Each time he drives the piece of metal into him, Papyrus reflects on an action that justifies it.

I threw up in front of Sans. Scratch. I let his floor be stained with vomit. Scratch. I embarrassed him in front of his friends. Scratch. I cleaned without him asking me to. Scratch. I made Sans angry. Scratch. Scratch. I let Sans sleep on the floor with me. Scratch. I let Sans sleep in and become a mindless zombie for hours. Scratch. He looked empty and sad and hollow because of me. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

I got angry in front of Sans. Scratch. I refused to play along and believe his lies. Scratch. Scratch. I followed him to Grillby’s. Scratch. I stayed where I wasn’t wanted. Scratch. I made all those monsters angry. Scratch. I made Sans do something violent because I couldn’t have a normal conversation with someone. Scratch. Scratch. I hurt all those monsters. Scratch. That was my fault. Scratch. Sans was mean to those people because of me. Scratch. Scratch. Those monsters called me _great_. Scratch. Sans thinks I’m _great_. Scratch. I let him believe i was _great_. Scratch. I’m lying to my brother. Scratch… Scratch… Scratch… Scratch…

His arm stings bitterly with pain. He feels it. He acknowledges it. He deserves it. Stopping for a moment, he brushes away all the grey dust to look at his work. Carved lightly into his bone is a five letter word. GREAT. It fills him with satisfaction, knowing that it hurts him as much physically as the word weighs him down mentally. Doing this is a release.

He smiles at the jagged rips and scars left on his bone. Then he leans in and starts tracing over the faint lines with his small knife again.

— — —

_The first reset had been a relief. From Alphys’ screen he watched the human fight the monsters. There was no question about it. The kid was the one resetting. Time and time again he watched them die with satisfaction. Until finally, they didn’t. The monsters around him had burst into sobs, crying out for the loved ones that hadn’t been able to flee in time. The noises would haunt him forever. Then, when the kid finally faced Asgore, they just reset. Like nothing had ever happened._

_He thought maybe it had been a fluke. A one off thing. But then they did it again. Killing every monster in their path once more. They did it over. And over. And over. And over. And over. Time and time again, he watched his friends turn to dust. It kills him. It tortures him. Sitting in the evacuation zone, Sans sobs uncontrollably in Grillby’s arms looking at that darned screen. He can’t take this. It hurts_ **_so much_ ** _._

_Every once in a while they’d act good. Pretend that nothing had happened._ **_The little freak._ ** _Sans stops talking to them in those timelines. They don’t deserve his puns. They don’t deserve anything sort of reaction from him at all._

— — —

Crack.

 _Oh dear._ Papyrus had pressed too hard and a long splinter had formed along his arm. He places the knife on the table and strokes the wedge. It’s severed two fragments of bone, creating a small ravine dead-centre in the thing. At least the mark hasn’t broken all the way through. It’s always so much harder to heal when it has.

He uses a dustpan and brush to clean up the small pile of dust on the floor around him. Satisfied all the evidence is gone, he goes to work healing the bone. He watches the magic envelop it. The pain goes away and a soothing sensation numbs the thing as segments of bone slowly grow from the torn shreds. He frowns as all his hard work disappears, the GREAT vanishing from his arm. Now the pain only exists in his head.

Papyrus looks up at the bedroom again. Sans still isn’t awake. He washes the butter knife, then slips it in his pocket for later. Hopefully Sans won’t miss it. Content that the ritual is over, he starts making breakfast with the measly leftovers in Sans fridge. There isn’t much to work with, but he’s sure he can be creative. He wants to please his brother when he wakes up from his big night.

— — —

_The monster comes barging through Grillby’s door. Sans doesn’t need to turn around. He just drinks his ketchup in dismay. People start standing up to leave. Grillby looks at him. He doesn’t move._

_“i’m not going grillbz.” There’s a solemness to his voice that stops Grillby from questioning him. The two wait for a moment._  
_“…. …… ………… I’m not leaving without you, Sans.”  
_ _"no. grillby, just leave me. go with the others and-”_

_“SANS.” The whole room glows red for a moment and his voice echoes through the small space. There’s pain behind those thin glasses. That one word communicates everything that can’t be said._

_A few other monsters look at them. There’s a small mumble that becomes louder. “Yeah!” “We can fight them!” “I’m not ditching Sansy yet~” “If Sans isn’t going, I’m not going!” “We’re with you to the end little guy!”_

_No. No no no no. Sans tries to argue. But his friends become insistent. They care too much about him to leave him alone. “i’ve changed my mind… please, let’s just go.” Sans begs. This isn’t what he wants. He can’t let them die too. But it’s too late._

_The door opens. A small figure walks in and smiles at the group. “Well, hello there.”_

_Sans sits in a pile of dust, listening to the kid laugh._

_Ha._

_Haha._

_Hahahahahahaha._

_Reset._

_~_

Sans wakes up in horror. Sweat runs down his skull. He clutches his ribs. _Breathe_. That’s always the first step. Just like with the resets. Just _breathe_. It’s ok… Nothing matters. He doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter if they’re alive or not. They mean nothing. Nothing does. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. _He. Doesn’t. Care._

He calms down a little. A small noise makes him jerk up, startled.

“OH! GOOD MORNING BROTHER.” Papyrus says awkwardly, standing at the door frame. “I-I MADE YOU BREAKFAST. IF… IF THAT’S OKAY?”

“uh, sure thing pap. be right down.” Papyrus walks back downstairs and Sans exhales loudly.

 _I can’t let him know. He really deserves better than this._ They both think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was certainly the most depressing chapter I've written so far. Someone called this thing a rollercoaster? This is definitely another one of those 'lows' I'd say haha
> 
> This being said, I'm SO HAPPY that i finally had an excuse to throw in some Sans and Grillbz BFF stuff in there ^o^ It also really changes how i feel about the whole sans doesn't care thing. He just doesn't want to feel vulnerable my poor baby ;v;
> 
> PapPap! My poor skelebro! The self harm tag was already there and i've alluded to it a few times already (he even attacks himself in the 1st chapter) but I this is the first time it really hit, you know? I'll try to be less detailed about it from now on unless i really have to.
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter has better things in store. I really hope so... but i guess i still need to have that argument with myself haha. Thanks for all the compliments I've received! Your comments have been so nice :D I do try to read them and it's so flattering to know my ideas interest people :)
> 
> (if the link from before doesn't work, just in case. Sorry to self promo) http://archiveofourown.org/works/11119644/chapters/24819081


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya :D New chapter! 
> 
> IMPORTANT HEADS UP   
> I'm changing the no-Frisk timeframe Core set up from 2 to 4 weeks.
> 
> So I'm editing the instances it's mentioned in Ch 3 by Core and 4 by Sans (if i missed a reference feel free to let me know :D ) Hopefully it's not a big inconvenience

“I KNOW IT ISN’T MUCH BUT… SANS? SANS? CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Sans jerks up in a fright. The hu- Oh. It’s just Papyrus. “heh. sorry bro. wasn’t listening. guess i’m still tired.” He rests his arm against the table and presses a finger to his temple. It’s always hard to focus after he has the nightmares. Heh. Well, harder than it already is. He picks up his fork and begins eating Papyrus’ pasta. He’s growing used to the taste actually.

“you were saying?” He asks, glancing across the table at his brother. Papyrus looks away.  
“…NEVERMIND.” He was just going to come up with some poor excuse for his pathetic breakfast. It’s not worth wasting Sans’ time over really. He toys with a soggy piece before lifting to his mouth. _It tastes like water and plastic._ He thinks to himself. How Sans is eating the whole meal is a mystery to Papyrus.

The two eat in mute tension. Neither know what to say. Sans’ chewing slows to a lazy graze as he becomes lost in his thoughts again. Staring at his plate, the pale yellow swaps for a powdery grey every time he closes his eyes. Dust. Everything around him is just _dust_. He rubs his eyes and chases away the image. _Not around Papyrus._ He needs a distraction… what had he been thinking about before the dreams again?

Monster food can’t give someone a proper hangover. Not when it converts to energy instantly when consumed. But that doesn’t stop ketchup from leaving… side-effects. The fight he remembers fine. What happened _after_ that is what Sans is struggling to figure out. He had called him… Pap-Pap? Or something silly like that? Honestly most of that part is a blur to him. Then Papyrus had… carried him to his bedroom. Sans had asked for him to stay. And then… then… Oh. He clenches his hand into a fist. The fork bends slightly at the pressure. _That’s right. We were going to have a little chat, weren’t we?_

“so…” Sans ventures lightly. “last night, huh?” Papyrus shifts back in his seat defensively. He had been hoping Sans would forget their conversation. How much does he remember? “you said you wanted to sleep on the _doormat_? Sound familiar?” Ah. Everything then. He stands up quickly to go pack away the dirty dishes, but Sans places a hand on his arm before he can leave. “pap. we need to talk about this.” Papyrus looks down nervously at it. This is the arm he had damaged not minutes before. Can Sans notice? No. Of course not. He had healed it perfectly. There is no physical evidence. But that doesn’t stop the limb from itching subconsciously where he touches him. “NO. WE DON’T.” He replies stiffly and tosses aside Sans’ touch.

His hand just hangs suspended in the air confused. He gets up off his chair and follows Papyrus to the kitchen, ignoring the unspoken threat. “i’ve got a guest bedroom for a _reason_ papyrus. it’s where _guests_ sleep in _beds_.” Sans can’t help but let his anger out in the words. What had those people done to him to leave him like this? He can’t begin to comprehend what could drive someone to treat themselves like… like a **dog.**

“pap?” Papyrus rinses his plate and lets the sound of the water drown out Sans. “what? you aren’t even going to talk to me?” This is meant to come out critical, but his voice catches on the words. Pap’s hands clench the plate tighter. _Argh. Why can’t he just leave this alone?_

“heh. you aren't going to talk to me...”

Papyrus hears the vulnerability in Sans' tone. He wavers in his resolve. “I-IT’S NOT LIKE THAT…”

“then what is it papyrus?” Sans forcefully dumps his own dishes next to Papyrus’ clean ones with a loud crash. Papyrus flinches. He really wishes Sans would stop doing that. He pauses to find the right words. What excuse won’t make Sans more concerned than he already is? He supposes a half-truth will have to do. “… I haven’t s-slept in a bed for… a long time. It doesn’t f-feel right.” He mumbles.

_Perfect._ Sans thinks miserably. Now Pap is back to using the shy stutter. He already misses the clear articulate voice. It just had a certain...  _quality_ to it. It reminded him of Christmas morning and winning at chess. All this muttering reminds him of is more dust. But at least they are getting somewhere.

“you seemed fine with it last night.” He reminds him, using a kinder voice. Maybe being aggressive _isn’t_ the best tactic here. “th-that was with you, Sans.” Papyrus explains, not looking him in they eye. “…any place feels like home when it’s you.” He adds quietly.

Sans could cry. Pap feels that way too? He lets go of the tirade.

“i’m going to hug you now.” He blurts out. After how Papyrus had reacted last time, he feels he needs to give some notice. “O-“ The tiny skeleton presses into Papyrus. “-K…?” Sans wraps his arms tightly around his brother until his two smaller limbs finally join on the other side. His bones had been craving this. Clinging to the sturdy support, he feels invincible. Not even all the dust in Snowdin can hurt him here.

Papyrus lowers his plate into the sink and reaches down to hug Sans back. He rests his head comfortably against his brother’s skull. Doing this makes Sans happy. Making Sans happy makes Papyrus happy. But he can’t truly enjoy it. Sans feels his head become wet. Papyrus is sobbing. “Please… DON’T MAKE ME SLEEP ON A BED SANS.” His bones start rattling. He doesn’t deserve it. He wouldn’t deserve it if Sans did that for him. Having that constant reminder of his lies, night and day, would torture him more than he could ever reproduce with a simple butter knife. Why must Sans be so nice to him? It’s only hurting him more. It is only going to hurt _Sans_ more in the future.

Sans traces small circles along Papyrus’ back with his hand and hushes him. “ok. ok. you don’t have to sleep on a bed. it’s ok.” Papyrus hadn’t realised he had been hyperventilating until the sounds overlapped his brother’s deep voice. He lets his ribs move up and down with the pace of Sans’ voice instead.

“ok.” _In._

“it’s ok.” _Out._

— — —

Papyrus had left the faucet running. Water is wastefully pouring into the sink below. Neither dare move to turn it off. Moving could ruin the moment.

_Shhhhhhh_

“will you take the room at least?”

_Shhhhhhhhh_

“IT’S THE ONE NEXT TO YOURS, RIGHT?”  
“yep. just one paper thin wall between us. nice and close.”

_Shhhh-ffshhhh_

“i just want you to be safe, bro.”

_Shhhhhhhh_

“I DON’T HAVE TO SLEEP ON A BED?”  
“…if you don’t want to pap, you don’t have to sleep on a bed.”

Sans has an idea.

“we’ll get you a rug. a big warm fluffy rug. ok?”  
“…OK.”

_Shhhhhh_

“CAN IT BE RED? LIKE MY SCARF?”  
“sure bro.”

Papyrus smiles at this. He likes red. At last, he gets down on his knees and surrenders to the hug.

For the first time that day, Sans doesn’t see dust as he closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 300 views?! And after i mention 150 in the last chapter... Thankyou everyone for reading. It's exciting to see people enjoying it. 
> 
> Fun fact! I listened to running water for a bit while i was stuck for ideas which is where the tap comes in with this chapter. 
> 
> I've got the plan mostly done! Timeline of events is sorted out minus some ending details. Sorry about the plot change. I tried to work around it but 2 weeks just wasn't enough. (I made a day-by-day timeline and everything) I *could* do it in 3 but with 4 i can space things out a bit better. I want to be free to throw in some fluff on non-drama days for fun ;D
> 
> Next chapter is already planned out but a WIP. I'm predicting under a week? No guarantees though haha


	10. Chapter 10

The door opens. “after you, bro.”The two exit and Sans closes it behind them without bothering to lock it. What can he say? Old habits die hard.

Sans watches the visible difference to Papyrus as he moves out into public. He loses his posture and hunches down, naturally tending to keep his arms and legs tight together to avoid taking up space. His head hangs down and he won’t stop fidgeting with his sleeve. His breathing is rapid. Frequently he glances at Sans. Looking at him slows down the panting a little.

He wishes he didn’t have to bring Pap in the first place, but he’s not letting Papyrus out of his sight again. Not after what those monsters back at Grillby’s had done. Besides, he’s the one who wanted to pick out the colour. This is going to be good for them.

The stroll to the shop is relatively short, but it takes the skeletons ten minutes to travel it anyway. Monsters gaze at them suspiciously as they tread across the snow-covered floor. Sans is glad Papyrus is too busy avoiding eye contact with people to notice.

Approaching the large welcoming building, Papyrus goes stiff. He’s going to have to talk to people, isn’t he?

Maybe this is a bad idea… He’s changed his mind. They should just go home. Wh-Who needs a rug anyway? The floor, in hindsight, looked quite comfortable. Besides, he shouldn’t bother people with his problems. Sans shouldn’t have to waste his money on him. He’s not important. Certainly not worth wasting all this effort over. This whole thing is just pointless. They should just leave now, before things become awkward. Yes. In fact, this whole situation is making him uncomfortable. He feels his hands start to tremble. This is making him tense. He wants to leave. Now. His boots shuffle in the snow, fighting conflicting emotions to stay with his brother and run back towards the house as fast as possible.

Sans turns, realising his brother has stopped following him. The skeleton has become a jittery mess at this point. Papyrus gives him a small pleading look. “I-I’ve changed my mind.” He whispers. “Let’s just g-go home and…“

His hand becomes laced with the stubby joints of Sans’. The grip is mildly tight, but the pressure is more reassuring than painful. Sans is trying to hide it, but he’s already out of breath after the small stroll. He did _not_ just walk the farther than he’s needed to in what feels like _years_ just to turn around now.

He takes in a deep breath or two before speaking. “ten minutes bro. i promise ya. in and out in ten minutes. and i’ll be right next to you the whole time.”  
“I don’t know Sans…” Papyrus rubs the tears from his face, eyes flickering back and forth between the shop and the skeleton.  
“please, pap?” Papyrus stops glaring at the brick building to remain focussed on Sans. “atleast look. for me?”

“…I trust you.” Papyrus mumbles weakly.

— — —

The shop is decorated welcomingly. Papyrus hovers as close as physically possible to Sans as they walk through the place.Even though much taller, he still tries to hide behind him as the bunny looks up. Past the front desk is a room filled with items for sale. Tables with colourful items and walls stacked with assorted tools, books and furniture create a maze of products.

“blankets… footstools… bookshelves… ah! here it is. rugs.”

Papyrus looks down and sees two fluffy mats hanging from the wall. His eyes lock on the bright red fiery choice on the left.

“so we’ll get the brown one then. ok?” Sans whispers to him, grabbing the dull beige matt to the left of it. It looked less comfortable he supposed, but baby steps. He is just glad Pap has agreed on anything in the first place. There’s no reason to force him to get anything so- “I want the red one.” Papyrus interrupts.

Sans isn’t sure what surprises him more. The fact that Papyrus made up his mind so firmly about it, or that _he_ of all people wanted the most obnoxiously bright and flashy thing in the room.

“…are you sure-“  
“I-I like red.” He insists, stroking his scarf while staring at the rug.

“flame rug it is then.” Sans has to hold back his amusement. The thing is purple in the centre with graphic fire decorating the sides boldly with bright reds and oranges. It screams proud and dangerous. Words that definitely don’t fit his picture of Papyrus.

Papyrus has a small excited gleam in his eye, reaching up to unhook it. “it’s a nice lookin rug huh?” Sans comments, rolling the fabric up. Papyrus is basically bouncing on his feet watching him work. “It… It looks so cool!” Papyrus admits quietly with a small exclamation of glee.

He shouldn’t be happy. He doesn’t _deserve_ cool things. But still… doesn’t it just look so _cool_?! He loves it. From that first second he saw it he loved it. The little flames along the edge are captivating. And the thing is so large, it could fit four Papyruses on it! He’s so selfish to let Sans get this. Some other monster probably really deserves this rug. Someone who doesn’t lie to people. But if Sans is getting him a rug anyway… Just this once he’ll accept his utterly irresponsible behaviour.

— — —

Carrying the large rolled up item, the two drag the rug to the desk. Another pair has just entered the shop, a mother and her young child. Sans begins paying the shopkeep while Papyrus watches the kid begin to climb the drawers of a large shelf. The new people make him uncomfortable. The sooner Sans pays for this and they can leave, the better.

The lady monster has become distracted by a collection of necklaces and doesn’t notice the small pair of legs scaling the furniture. Triumphant, the child eventually reaches the top of the shelf. They looks over to a nearby table, judging the distance. A smile comes on their face. Papyrus sees the intention in their eyes. He knows they’re about to jump.

_Sans is almost done, the bunny is just counting his gold, a few more seconds and they’ll be able to leave. And besides, intervening will mean physically touching strangers…_

He steps in and catches the child as they jump. Stopping them from crashing into a glass cabinet. He rattles with tension at the warm creature in his arms. The monster realise how close they came to hurting themselves and start crying. The rattling has become noticeable twitching now. With enthusiasm, he places them down and backs away. At this exact moment, the mother turns to see Papyrus with her son.

She rushes to him. “What did you do?” She hisses, as her son continues sobbing. Papyrus stutters a few times before giving up on a response.

She takes a better look at him. “You’re that new skeleton they all talk about… _Sans’ brother_.”The phrase is spat like a prison sentence. Papyrus doesn’t like the way she says it one bit. “Stay away from my kid!” She moves in aggressively between the two monsters. Papyrus reaches out an arm to comfort the kid and then lowers it. “Putting my honbun in danger like that… You’re a real freak, aren’t you! Why’d you even come here? All you skeletons have done since moving here is caused trouble! You and that brother of yours… Snowdin would be better off without you!”

His eyes go wet. Papyrus is on the verge on dropping to the floor and panicking. But instead he stays stuck in this purgatory between wanting to break down and fearing making the matter worse. He’s so fragile a breeze could knock him over as the woman continues to yell at him. She’s right. He’s worthless. He’s… He’s… He’s…

— — —

“…bro?” The voice is sounds all hollow. Like he’s underwater. He blinks. There’s this loud ringing in his ears. Sans is shaking his shoulder. “papyrus!” The world snaps back into focus and he feels the sweat formed magically on his skull. The woman had moved away from him and is bent down, consoling the younger bunny.

“thought i’d lost ya for a second.” Papyrus is shaking so much, his vision is blurry. The lady looks up at him and then looks away with fear as Sans glares at her. “don’t believe a word of what she said pap.” He rubs his eyes, leaving his hand wet with the unshed tears.

“C-can we just g-go home now?”  
“of course.” Sans soothes, reaching an arm around his waist and leading him out of the shop. “‘course we can.”

The two stumble along in the snow. Papyrus is robotic. Lift leg. Extend forward. Lower leg. Repeat. It’s all he can really concentrate on at this point.

Sans is no better. The flashbacks are becoming worse. Reality blurs with distorted memories, swapping between snow and dust at every turn. Frustrated, he trudges forward anyway. The lack of proper rest is also slowing him down. He sways to keep upright, using Papyrus’ rigid momentum to stop him from collapsing on the snow.

…Neither realise they’re walking in the wrong direction.

— — —

“i… i need to take a break bro.” Sans struggles to get out. He can’t stand anymore. The screaming is getting louder in his non-existent ears. It’s so sharp, it almost doesn’t sound like screaming at all. Collapsing against a heap of snow, he closes his eyes and makes laboured pants. Passively, Papyrus joins him.

— — —

While Sans slips into a not-really-sleeping nap, Papyrus fidgets quietly with a few twigs and the snow. Had he done the right thing?

The small branch breaks as he presses it down into the ground.

…He picks up the pieces and tries again, creating two smaller upright pillars in the powder.

Yes. Of course he had.

Everything about that situation was right. The child was in danger. They needed help. Things would have been fine, that lady would have been happy, the child would have smiled instead of crying… if it was anyone but him. He slips his hand into the pocket of his pants. Inside is cold despite the insulation. He breathes. It’s still right there. Just where he left it. Instead of using the tool, he strokes the flat end with his thumb. The smooth metallic surface soothes him. He doesn’t need it yet. But it’s nice to know it’s here just the same.

Sans’ own breathing becomes rapid. It’s Grillby this time. Papyrus uses his other hand to pat Sans as he begins curling into a ball. He’s too far gone to appreciate the gesture.

— — —

_Grillby’s spectacles shattering as they fall to the floor. A weak crackle. Low hissing fizzling from behind a counter as he walks up to it. Sobbing. Moaning. Swearing. Crying. Weeping. The vision starts to move in closer-  
_ No. No no no no no no. No…   
_no_! _Everything starts to warp. Images of moments pound at him. Each second re-lived is an hour of violent attack to his consciousness. Whispering. Grillby’s final words to Sans loop into jumbled nonsense of white noise that-_   
Make this stop. MAKE THIS STOP.   
_He can’t escape. The world around him is so distant it might as well not exist. He can’t escape. He’s trapped in here. In this hell of grief. Forever. The wave crashes again as he dives once more into the-_

Sans gasps for air. This shouldn’t _hurt_ him like this! Grillby… he tries SO HARD to not care. Hadn’t it worked? Hadn’t he cracked the system? If you don’t care you don’t hurt. Simple as that. Grillby’s just another monster. They’re no longer friends, he’s sure about that much. Monsters are pointless. They only repeat the same things like a broken record anyway. Why should they matter? Right? He kneads his head. Echoes bounce around in his skull, trying to lull him back in.

So why does it still kill him watching that yellow light die out?

It’s probably Papyrus’ fault… 

No. Don’t think like that. This is Core’s fault. His fault really. He’s lowered his guard too much. Sans should have seen this coming. Let one feeling run free without check and the rest are bound to start slipping through the cracks. Is… loving Papyrus worth this? He has to hesitate on the word but it’s true. He does love him. And it’s making him like this.

— — —

The memories are growing tired. He can feel reality start to become more and more cemented in his mind. The air is cold. He leans into his jacket, letting the fabric become tangled in his anatomy. Man he wishes he had some ketchup right now.

A stack of snow in front of him makes him startled. Piles of the stuff, clumped together, have been shaped to form a slender but familiar skeletal shape. Papyrus? But the proportions are all wrong… He doesn’t look this scrawny and weak at all! His brother walks up to it and adds more snow to the feet.

“...what are you doing?”  
“MAKING A SNOW PAPYRUS.” His brother says distantly.

“oh.”

Papyrus used to make these all the time. Once. He would create images of himself, then tell them about how his day had gone. The good. The bad. The things he didn’t like about himself. Those discussions usually ended… badly. Destroying the statues of himself after one-sided arguments had been almost _therapeutic_ for a while. Until he started envying the shattering blocks of ice.

“well, you’ve got it all wrong paps.” Sans sighs. He slowly stands and start digging his own snow. “you’re taller than that.” Papyrus, for his part, doesn’t overreact to the fact that Sans is acting normally again. He’s heard the word ‘wrong’ so many times, he simply takes the criticism and continues work.

Without a word, the brothers work together on finishing the Snow Papyrus.

“why’d you do it?” Sans asks pensively, scooping another ball of ice.  
“DO WHAT?” Papyrus replies. Here in this isolated part of the forest, there’s less need to feel nervous or stutter. He feels calm.  
“help the kid. why’d you _care_ so much about what happened to them?”

Papyrus just adds more snow to the statue’s left shoulder for a moment. There’s more to the question than what Sans is saying.

“it would have been so much _easier_ if you’d just… let it happen. how could you care about them?”

Papyrus takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.  
“HOW COULD I _NOT_ CARE, SANS?”  
His brother blinks.  
“EVERYONE… I BELIEVE EVERYONE CAN BE A GOOD PERSON IF THEY JUST TRY. SOMEONE WITH THAT MUCH _POTENTIAL_ … HOW COULD THEY NOT MATTER?” He tries explain.

“you don’t think that about yourself.” Sans states matter-of-factly. He’s in too funny a mood to worry about being sensitive.  
“NO. I DON’T.” He sighs.

Sans waits for more of a story. But Papyrus doesn’t elaborate.

“but doing that thing… the lady didn’t even say _thankyou_ for saving her brat. what if caring will just leave you hurt?”  
“I WOULDN’T CHANGE WHAT I DID BROTHER. EVEN KNOWING HOW IT AFFECTED ME NOW.”  
Sans doesn’t need to voice the unspoken _Why?_  
“BECAUSE… WELL, DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON THAT BUNNY’S FACE? WHEN WE LEFT?”  
Sans looks away a moment, confused.  
“what do you mean? the thing just completely forgot about you and started sucking up to his mother.”  
“EXACTLY. HE LOOKED… SO HAPPY. TO BE SAFE IN HIS MOTHER’S ARMS. DON’T YOU THINK?”

How could he look at the event so _positively_?! He’d just been having a panic attack for goodness sake!

“EVEN IF THEY DON’T APPRECIATE THE PART I PLAY. WHAT’S MORE IMPORTANT IS THAT _THEY_ WERE HAPPY. YOU KNOW?”  
Sans wants to scowl at the stupid thought but just keeps quiet instead.

— — —

Papyrus adds the final touch to the Snow Papyrus. They take a step back. There. That looks much more realistic. The snowman is a full-sized model of Papyrus, complete with a ridiculous proud pose, his scarf flying behind him like a cape, that Sans added for the kick of it. “much better.” Sans says. “far less scrawny than before.” Papyrus just looks at the ice longingly. There’s this indescribable look on his face.

“…WHEN I WAS A KID, I HAD THIS SILLY DREAM ABOUT BEING IN THE ROYAL GUARD.” He starts conversationally. “HELPING PEOPLE. PROTECTING MONSTERS… STUPID, RIGHT?”

“i don’t think that’s stupid bro.” Sans replies, noticing the irregularly muscular physique to the snow skeleton. It really is quite a good statue.

“LOOKING AT THIS SNOW PAPYRUS… IT REMINDS ME OF HOW I USED TO IMAGINE MYSELF.” He explains, gazing off distantly.

They both just watch the shiny Papyrus stand, unmoving, for a while. He looks so much… happier than they do. Like he belongs to a different world.

“we should probably head back soon. night comin and everything.” Sans says finally. Papyrus shakes his head a little, coming back from his thoughts. He starts walking towards the path. Sans follows behind him. Neither look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly... WE MADE IT PAST 50 KUDOS!!! That's like a BIG milestone in my opinion :D Also, as of this chapter 460 views!!! That's crazy! That's almost 500 people reading my little internet thing! I'm releasing 2 chapters right now so i was thinking about maybe celebrating it somehow but i'll talk more about that at the end of THAT one haha.
> 
> Second: i know i'm like crazy late. Sorry. After i missed my first commitment everything just snowballed heheh. But I won't let it get to me! This chapter turned out pretty ok (and so long too!) so i'm focussing on positives :)
> 
> This is my idea of a 'happy' chapter haha. Makes me think of Do You Wanna Build A Snowman (Frozen reference again. Wow. Two in one story. Much more and this will start becoming a theme...). The Snow Papyrus is supposed to look like normal UT Pap which is why it really hits the bros looking at it. He looks so confident. So carefree. So... happy. And PapPap liking the rug is just adorable don't you think? 
> 
> I reckon I'll add PTSD to the tag list. Sans memories are getting a little... out of control there.


	11. Chapter 11

There isn’t any food left. Papyrus has already cleaned the dust this morning from his earlier… exercise and finds the cupboards bare. Sans comes down from his room to find Papyrus sitting in the kitchen with a concerned look on his face.

“…THERE AREN’T ANY LEFTOVERS LEFT, SANS.”  
“oh.”

They both know what this means.

“I DON’T SUPPOSE…” Papyrus begins.  
“no, she’s the same here too.”

The shopkeeper takes Sundays off to go babysit her sister’s kid. That meant the store is closed. Which means to no food. There is of course, only one obvious alternative.

“WELL…”  
“…huh.”

They both stand there, in the empty kitchen. Staring at eachother.

“YOU KNOW WHAT?! I’M NOT REALLY THAT HUNGRY TODAY!” Pap suddenly bursts.  
“me neither!” Sans agrees.  
“WE CAN JUST WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW! AND-”  
His belly aches loudly. Sans eyes darken a bit.

“Umm… DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING? I THINK A DOG… JUST BROKE INTO THE KITCHEN… AND MADE A SOUND SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE MY STOMACH ACHING… OF COURSE _I’M_ NOT HUNGRY AT ALL… SO IT CAN’T BE ME!”

The lies are like poison in his jaw. He’s such a terrible person. He’s lying and he hates it. Sans shouldn’t trust him. Of every person in the world, Sans chose the worst person to trust. He’s not even lying for his brother’s sake! He’s rambling because of his own selfish want to avoid people. No wonder people don’t like him. He can’t even take a moment to think about others. That’s so horrible. He’s so horrible. Sans has to live with someone as horrible as him. Sans trusts someone as horrible as him. That’s such a horrible thing for him to let happen! Why does he let it happen?

Sans sighs. “we have to do it pap.”  
The words snap him out of his self-hate.  
“NO… Sans, I-“  
“i don’t like it either. but i’m not letting you starve. you’re thin enough as it is.”

Papyrus decides not to tell him about what it really means to be starving. The problem here isn’t him not eating. _He’s_ endured worse. It’s Sans.  
“I…” Pap sighs. “I DON’T THINK I COULD FACE ALL THOSE PEOPLE AGAIN.”  
“you did great yesterday with the store.”  
“YES, BUT THAT WAS DIFFERENT SANS…”

“i’ll be with you every step of the way bro.” Sans doesn’t want to go either. More than anywhere, _that_ place will bring back the nightmares. But Papyrus can’t go there by himself. And having him with him there always seems to calm Sans down.

Papyrus relents. It really is the only logical choice.

The two brothers reluctantly leave to Grillby’s.

— — —

They stand in front of the door when Papyrus stops and starts twitching.

All those people.

All those eyes.

Everyone looking at him.

Judging him.

He can’t do it.

Sans reaches for him. “hey, hey. it’s ok. it’s ok. just keep your eyes on me and follow, alright? you don’t even have to look at them.” Papyrus spreads his fingers through his and trembles jutter through the pair bones. Sans simply grips them tighter to keep him still.

After a moment, Papyrus lifts his head up and takes a breath. Sans takes this as their cue to move.

They walk in, Papyrus holding his hand like some preschooler.

— — —

The room goes quiet.

“….. …….. …….. Sans! You’re ok.” Grillby greets. The monsters all look away awkwardly. _What had happened there?_

Sans just looks down and drags his brother to his usual pair of seats. He knows the name and placement of each monster in them by heart. …and what their dust would look like in their stead. A small shiver runs down his spine and he winces. “food. for me and my bro.” He mumbles not looking Grillby in the eye.

“….. ……. ……. What would you like?”

Grillby quickly assesses the situation. The unspoken tenseness and hostility. This doesn’t matter. He’s just glad that Sans is _alive_. When he didn’t come yesterday… Well, he’s seen that look in people’s eyes before. He knows where it leads. Seeing him here again today takes a weight off his shoulders.

Sans shrugs at Grillby’s question. Behind the aloofness he’s tense, battling flashbacks. _That’s right. Don’t care. Don’t imagine him burning out…_ ** _Don’t._** _Don’t care…_ He looks at his brother, shifting his Grillby’s attention away him. “pap?”

“D-Do you have something… not greasy?” He asks shyly. He’s addressing Grillby but he doesn’t break eye contact with Sans. “……..we have a salad.” Sans lift his head a little at that. He had no idea there was anything remotely healthy on Grillby’s menu. He drops it sullenly hoping Grillby won’t notice.

Neither say anything else.

“……….salad and a burg coming up then.” Grillby heads to the back to prep the meal. Throwing magic together, he thinks about the two skeletons. Things were changing now. He could tell. When was the last time he’d seen those empty eyes focus in on anything? Even if it was to avoid his own. For once, he might have a chance at getting some words through that thick skull of his.

A devious smile burns across his mouth and he looks back at the innocent monster huddled next to him. He has a plan.

— — —

Placing the plates down, Grillby casually speaks to Sans’ brother. “……….We have never properly been introduced…… … … my name is Grillby.” Papyrus looks up in panic. Sans reaches out and grabs his arm again and he calms down. He deliberately looks him in the eye. _You don’t need to speak if you don’t want to_. The look says. But Papyrus can do this…. _he can do this._ Grillby notices the exchange with interest, but pretends not to. “m-my name’s P-Papyrus.” The words come in a rush and he instantly closes himself again after they’ve been uttered. He looks away again and Sans squeezes his hand. There’s a light curve to his mouth. Going out of his comfort zone like that. He can’t help but feel proud of him.

Grillby takes the answer as an opening. Leaning against the bar, he starts wiping the bench. “………….so how did you two meet?… … ...Sans never told me he had a brother.” Sans gets annoyed at this. Just leave us alone. Hasn’t Papyrus done enough? Besides, he’s a terrible liar… he decides it’s better for him to pipe up. “separated at birth. didn’t know the other existed until an old family friend set it up. don’t ask. pap comes from new home. less crowded here so he’s stayin with me.” Each sentence comes out as a grunt. He hadn’t meant to say that much, but it is actually a decent cover story.

Grillby tilts his head with feigned innocence, pouncing on the information. He has them right where he wants them…

“… … …New Home huh?” Sans is done with talking and doesn’t respond.

He tries a different tactic. He faces Papyrus. “…….so what’s it like to live with Sans?” Pap shifts in his chair a little. He doesn’t want to tell stories about Sans, especially when he’s right there next to them. Grillby gently encourages him with a smile. “…….i bet he’s still as messy as ever.”

“OH, OF COURSE.” Papyrus snorts without thinking. “YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE PLACE… when I… g-got there.” He closes his mouth with an audible clop. He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have _spoken_ like that. Not with Sans right there. Not to this stranger. He looks over at his brother. Sans has one eye open in light curiosity. Who knows? Talking to people might actually help him get out of his shell a little. It’s worth a shot. He gives him a small nod to continue. Papyrus relaxes in relief. He hadn’t annoyed him. Thank goodness.

“…. … …i’ll bet there was dirty laundry everywhere?” Grillby prompts jokingly. Papyrus pauses nervously, then nods his head with muted enthusiasm. “E-Everywhere! Even on the fan! (How did he even do that?)” Grillby chuckles. The rest of the room is strangely silent as the crackling noise echoes. Sans notices this. Papyrus does’t. He’s too engrossed with Grillby’s reaction. He’d made someone laugh? He still had no idea _why._ But he’d made this stranger… _laugh_? It gives him a bubbly feeling in his chest.

Sans glances around. Monsters won’t meet them in the eye, a few have turned entirely from their view. So far so normal. But this isn’t the usual disgust. He’s used to that. This is _fear_. Sure, he’d probably rattled a few people with his stunt the night before. But not to this level… What doesn’t he know? He risks lifting his head and giving Grillby _the look_ in a question. The fire monster turns from Papyrus and acknowledges the room with an angry shrug. The whole bar flares a little brighter. Some of the customers flinch at the sound. Sans leans back. _Ahhh. So he got angry. Poor suckers._

Grillby ignores Sans smugness. He stands by what he did. Even when things were at their worst, Sans had _never_ not come before. It was _his_ fault things had escalated in the bar that night. What was he supposed to do but snap? He readjusts his glasses shaking away the thought. He’d given them a… _talking_ to. That should convince people to leave them alone for once. End of discussion.

He returns his focus back on Papyrus with a knowing wink. “…. ………. ……… does he still sleep in too much as usual?”

— — —

Papyrus slowly opens up. Despite all his insecurities and lack of social skills, he really is a naturally talkative person. Grillby is just as kind to him as Sans is. The long pauses he takes between his sentences are a perfect fit for Papyrus, giving him time between each turn to emotionally prepare himself for each reply. And with his brother so close, he finds it easier to become comfortable.

For Sans, it is a relief to watch Papyrus look so happy about something. He spends most of his time distracting himself with the food or the noise to drown out the memories of the place screaming behind his eyes. He’s used to going through this, but the positive mood does make the ordeal slightly more… pleasant.

For Grillby, it is entertaining to meet a skeleton so _completely_ the opposite of Sans. Despite how he acts, Grillby can tell he’s holding back a large amount of energy and enthusiasm. It reminds him of a small puppy that’s been caught doing something bad - excited but too nervous to show it. The chat is pleasant, but there is a hidden goal to his questions. Subtly, he tries to check up on Sans. Is he eating? Sleeping? Does he take care of himself? Grillby carefully crafts each question and analyses each answer to develop a better picture. It’s good to know he’s not completely gone yet.

By the time they’ve finished the meal, Papyrus is happy to call Grillby by name. Unlike Sans, Grillby isn’t comfortable with the nickname and just calls him Papyrus. “-AND SOMETIMES WHEN HE’S SLEEPING, HE MAKES THIS LITTLE WHISTLING FROM THE LODGE BETWEEN THIS BONE…” Sans is amused to see how observant Papyrus is. He really has been paying a lot of attention. The ketchup bottle is empty. It has been for about twenty minutes now, him raising it simply to avoid facing Grillby. It’s time for them to go.

“welp. guess we should be heading back. pap?” Papyrus looks down to see his empty plate then looks back up at Grillby. Oh.

“I-It… IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU G-Grillby.” He isn’t sure whether he should be bubbly or nervous so his sentences tend come out as a bit of both.

“……. …… …. likewise.” The two stand up to leave but he has something he needs to say. “………… will you be coming tonight Sans?……….. drinks will be on me.” _Heh. I see where this is going._ Sans plays along for Pap’s sake though. Grillbz had admittedly given his bro a good time. “…we’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grillby is like my favourite character right now. Every chance i get to expand him I'm just looooving!
> 
> So... many... ellipses and full stops put together!!! If you can't tell i have a real problem with the big '...' because i use it literally ALL the time. It's crazy. And having a character that takes atleast 9 dot long pauses before speaking... this is not going to end well for me haha. (LOOK! I EVEN USED IT THERE!!!)
> 
> Anyway, this is a really good old wholesome chapter. Nice, fun, only small references to the major issues; everything is looking great! ...for now =)
> 
> So anyway, celebrating my 50 kudos milestone... 
> 
> In my plan for the next chapter i wanted to fill in 2 or 3 days of non-major storyline. Some fluff, light backstory, that sort of thing. I've got like 5 or 6 bits planned to write... but i wanted to experiment and see if there were any small fan-fulfilment things you guys wanted with PapPap and SansyBoy :D (maybe this is a bad idea. Like i said, i've got backups if this doesn't work but what harm is there in trying?) 
> 
> For example, i was thinking a short where Sans and Pap get nicecream and read out the compliment messages to eachother. 
> 
> Nothing big. It can trigger them a little because, let's face it, anything will - but nothing that will cause major breakdowns or relationship drama please. And nothing that will completely fix their situation either. Just light plot-irrelevant fluff of how Paps n Sans will live their life.
> 
> So yeah! Leave a comment. I'd love to read them :) And if there's too many or something crazy like that then... i'll try to atleast mention you guys in the notes on the next chapter atleast and choose the best ones/easiest ones to write (because i'm lazy ;D ) 
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading my story so far. I love that people are liking it and all your compliments really pick up my days :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to everyone who played a part in the 50 kudos milestone thing :D 
> 
> Kamari333  
> Amythefangirlsfangirl  
> PorterHawk96 (even if it was just to point out a plot hole ;D )
> 
> And also, just a shout out to all my commenters and readers! Thanks for all the love you guys <3 
> 
> 630 hits, almost 90 kudos and counting!!! (i still think that's crazy O_O)
> 
> \-----------
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: This isn't a normal chapter. It's super long. I find some of it arguably better/worse than other parts. And it's made up of 7/8 short stories. 
> 
> Sections of stories are split with ~ Stories themselves are separated with - - -
> 
> THE ONLY ONE COMPLETELY IMPORTANT FOR THE MAIN STORY IS THE LAST ONE. 
> 
> The first and last are definitely set at the start and end of the 3 day fluff-fest but the rest can sort of fit into that time frame whenever you want them to and in whatever order.

Papyrus stretches out on his new rug. “do ya like it?” Sans asks, a little excited.

He takes a moment to close his eyes and spread his arms across the floor of fluff. Oh, he does. He likes it a lot. “IT’S… OK.” Papyrus admits quietly.

After the incident in the shop, the shopkeeper had been kind enough to deliver the rug to their house. It had been a surprise to both skeletons to find the fluffy thing leaning against the door when they made it home.

“and you’ll actually sleep on it? not on the doormat?” Sans chastises. Papyrus flinches a little at his tone but nods. “good.” He grins in relief. “night pap.”  
“GOODNIGHT BROTHER.” Papyrus replies. Reassured, Sans leaves Papyrus’ new bedroom and heads to his own.

— — —

Papyrus lies on the rug staring at the roof. He’s not tired. Even now, with this new comfortable rug beneath him, he can’t seem to fall asleep. Standing up, he turns on his light and inspects the room. Against one of the walls is a large bookcase. Carefully, he removes a book or two from the shelf and looks at the covers.

“PEEK-A-BOO WITH FLUFFY BUNNY?” He reads, curious. Trying to not make any noise, he lies down again on the rug and begins poring through the pages. He’s used to seeing in the dark.

**_Fluffy bunny strolls along, happy as can be.  
_ ** **_Fluffy bunny meets a fox, standing near a tree._ **

**_‘Fluffy bunny close your eyes, let’s have a bit of fun!’  
_ ** **_Fluffy bunny closed it’s eyes. They open and he’s gone!_ **

Papyrus nods his head sadly. He knows that situation all too well. Abandoned by strangers: the story of his life. Strangely enough, there are more pages to the book, so he keeps going.

**_‘Mr fox! Where are you?’ The fluffy bunny cries.  
_ ** **_'…Don’t be scared, I am here, just simply close your eyes!’_ **

**_Confused but ever hopeful, the bunny’s eyes go slack.  
_ ** **_And when he opens them again, the fox is there and back!_ **

Papyrus gasps. The fox came back? That had never happened with him before. He reads the next pages eagerly.

**_‘Mr fox! Mr fox! I thought you’d gone for good!’  
_ ** **_'Why, my dear fluffy bunny, I wouldn’t abandon you if i could.’_ **

Tears start forming in Papyrus’ eyes.

**_Sometimes you can’t see me, and that makes us want to cry.  
_ ** **_Butbunny, even when not I’m there, I’ll always be nearby!_ **

**_We can play a game of Peek-a-boo and really then you see,  
_ ** **_In those moments things are bad, close your eyes and you’ll see me!_ **

Papyrus closes his eyes and the pages turn wet. He holds the book close to his chest. Using the hard thing like a teddy bear, he drifts off on the fluffy floor, living in foggy memories of a loved one who doesn’t exist.

“Even if I don’t… entirely remember.” He whispers.  
He wraps his red scarf tightly around himself like a pillow.

[x](http://imgur.com/SiLZ53p)

— — —

Sans doesn’t feel like Grillbys right now. Breakfast had been an impressive collection of re-heated bacon and eggs, provided from a small doggy bag Grillby had left for Papyrus when he collected Sans last night. Honestly, he misses Pap’s breakfast spaghetti instead.

Standing in the empty hallway he scratches his head. What does he normally do at this point?Usually he just… drops to the floor and sleeps. It’s been a while since he’s had to bother to come up with things to do with his time. It’s been a while since it mattered. Too bothered to think of something productive, he drops on the couch and turns on tv. Can’t go wrong there.

Papyrus follows from the kitchen, having just washed the dishes. Looking over at the glowing box, he joins him curiously.

Sans starts flicking through channels idly.

“WHO’S THAT?” His brother asks, pointing to the robot dancing in circles on the screen. He stops the channel surfing for a moment. “mettaton. some tv star.” He sighs. Placing down the remote he half-heartedly watches the performance. He’s already entering the vegetable tv-watching state.

Papyrus sits on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees staring at the show. Sans offers to make room for him on the couch but he refuses. He gives his brother a look, but ultimately gives up and leaves him to it. The argument wouldn’t be worth it. Besides, Pap doesn’t seem too concerned with the arrangement.

The small box skirts around the stage on his wheel while purple sparkles fly past him. It makes Papyrus excited to watch.With a glittery pirouette, Mettaton flies through the air and he lets out a small gasp. “IS HE ALWAYS LIKE THIS?” Papyrus whispers in awe. He’d never seen someone so confident and fabulous in all his life. “pretty much. gets kinda annoying ‘fter a while.” Sans yawns, getting comfortable.

~

“How many bytes are in a megabyte?” Mettaton’s voice rings.  
“one oh four eight five seven six.” Sans mutters.  
“HUH?” Papyrus asks, snapping out of the thrall of the show. Sans looks down at Papyrus, who is now lying on the floor with is head resting on arms perched up by his elbows. He’d never admit it, but he is loving MTT-TV like an obsessive fangirl by this point. “nothin, bro.” He smiles.

“1048576!!!” The TV calls and a mixed roar of cheering and booing echoes from the audience.

“In quantum mechanics, the angular moment of a particle is called what?”  
“spin” Sans yawns under his breath again. Papyrus swivels his head to look at his brother, curious. He waves his hand to dismiss him.

“Spin!!”

As the show continues, Sans progressively slips down from the couch and collapses next to his brother, pulling all of the blankets down with him. Papyrus just keeps poring his eyes at the screen, too fascinated to notice.

“What is the speed of light?”  
“two ninety-nine seven ninety-two four fifty-eight metres per sec.” He leans in closer to Papyrus, finding _just_ the right spot against his shoulder to make himself comfortable.

“The densest thing on earth?”  
“thing or material? it kill ya to be more specific?” He quips softly. “it’s neutron.” Sans’ comments are muffled by the layers of blankets he’s wrapped himself in.

“METTATON IS SO… COOL.” Papyrus sighs in admiration, not hearing his brother.  
“i think _you’re_ cool bro.” Sans replies, wriggling his blanket burrito closer to nudge him affectionately.  
“So you keep saying…” Papyrus mumbles.  
“what was that?” Sans asks, lifting his head.  
“…NOTHING.”

~

Sans opens a small part of his cocoon of quilts to offer Papyrus some of the blanket. “wanna join?” Papyrus just stays where he is, distracted by the show.

He doesn’t resist when Sans spreads the sheets over him though.

Nestling into his ribs, Sans closes his eyes. Papyrus lets him fall onto his lap. Without thinking about it, he begins stroking his back in time with the music. As Sans falls asleep, he purrs in response to the scratching. Papyrus glances down at the source of the purring noise and giggles. Sans opens an eye socket when Papyrus stops rubbing. “…why’d ya stop?” He shakes his head with a smile and resumes. Sans’s body vibrates again with warm approval.

— — —

“……… and that is why Fuku never goes to Waterfall anymore.”

Papyrus lets out a small chuckle. Grillby smiles proudly as he cleans random glasses from beneath the counter; the Fuku story is always a crowdpleaser. He looks over at Sans. The smaller skeleton just sits next to his brother stoically. His face hasn’t changed all afternoon, no matter the subject. It’s not an aggressive form of expressionlessness. Just, bored.

Grillby of course doesn’t realise that Sans has heard all his material many times before.

It shouldn’t bother him, but the lack of reaction from his friend is irritating. He knows it’s a dangerous move to push his luck, but Grillby can’t take this flat face anymore.

Sans leaves him no choice. It’s time to bring in the kryptonite…

“………..Was my story not funny enough for you, Sans?” Papyrus starts to apologise for his brother, but Grillby cuts him off, maintaining eye contact with the smaller brother.

“……….I suppose my jokes were rather……. f ** _lame_**.”

There’s a pause for a second as the room processes the pun.

Simultaneously, Sans barks a small laugh and Papyrus wheezes a small groan.

The two look at eachother.

“YOU LIKE **_PUNS_**?“  
“you don’t like **_puns_**?”  
They gasp in sync.

They take a moment to realise what this means, then try to amend their responses.

“I MEAN… HA. HA HA… GOOD ONE, GRILLBY.” Papyrus laughs painfully. Sans quickly shrugs, trying to cover up his reaction with his standard apathy. “just a pun. not like _i_ care.” He mutters like some rebellious teenager. Grillby rolls his eyes. _Sure he doesn’t._ Satisfied, he’d made Sans suffer enough, he changes the subject.

~

The two skeletons continue give eachother a quick glances then shift their gazes away awkwardly all night.

_how can he not like puns? what kind of person doesn’t like a good pun? everyone likes puns. i’m probably overreacting. he probably just sneezed or something._ Sans shakes his head as he knocks back more ketchup distractedly.

_HOW CAN HE LIKE PUNS? WHAT KIND OF PERSON FINDS THOSE KINDS OF SILLY THINGS FUNNY? WAIT. HE DOESN’T MAKE THEM TOO… DOES HE? MAYBE IT WAS A PITY LAUGH… YES. A PITY LAUGH. THAT’S IT._ Papyrus frowns as he bites down on a piece of lettuce roughly.

Neither can get over it. _Puns_ for goodness sake! _Puns!_

Grillby just watches the obvious conflict on their faces all evening with a hidden smirk. So the brother of _Sans_ \- the biggest comedian of a monster he had ever met - doesn’t like puns? Oh, this is going to prove very interesting indeed.

_If the two of them keep this up, Papyrus is going to be in for a shock when Sans starts acting like himself again…_

He blinks.

Did he just… think that? _When_ not _if_. It’s the first time in so long he’s let himself hope it was that possible. Looking back at his old friend he watches the way he hangs to every word his brother utters. The posture of someone paying eager attention. The small smile dancing in the light of his eyes. _He really is. He’s coming back. Isn’t he?_ The room turns a few degrees warmer. _Good._

— — —

“OH!!! A CUSTOMER!!!” A someone screams. Papyrus jumps, startled and almost trips hearing the noise. Sans flinches, reacting to Papyrus. The two had just begun walking home after checking up on their Snow Papyrus. It now has the lumped-snow-makings of a small Snow Sans next to it.

Standing next to them is a small cart with a bright red and yellow umbrella extending from it. “Hello! Would you like some nicecreams?” Calls the smiling blue monster leaning against it.

Sans calms down. He’s just trying to sell them something. Papyrus however, is still unsettled. He can hear the soft rattling from his brother’s bones.

“It’s the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15G!” The guy recites with a grin. Sans reaches into his pockets and pulls out the gold. Why not? he’s been doing strange things all day anyway.

“two. one for me and one for pap.”  
Papyrus tries to protest. “SANS... Don’t spend your money on me…”  
“if you don’t want it, i’ll eat yours too.” He shrugs.

“Here you go! Have a super-duper day!” The seller sings. Sans rolls his eyes and takes the two cones. _What’s got him in such a positive mood?_

He offers one to Pap. “you want it?” His brother hesitates, then reaches out to hold it. The nicecream guy is still looking at them with this weird smile. It’s getting kinda creepy.

“i used to have these all the time when i was a kid. always had this nice message on them.” He drawls as he opens the pack. He has an idea. Sans nudges the tall skeleton. “for example, this one says i have the most amazing and cool bro ever.”

Papyrus looks down at him. “That’s a very specific message… Is that really what it says?” He frowns softly. He’s sceptical, but is too scared to voice that properly with this stranger watching them.  
“of course it is bro.” Sans exclaims, dramatically acting offended. He raises a hand to his head in dismay. “why would i ever lie to you?”  
“Then let me see it.” Papyrus smirks, extending his lanky arm to steal the slip from Sans’ hand.

Sans tugs the paper away.  
“ah ah ah! i told you mine, you’ve to to tell me yours pap.”

Papyrus looks at the slip attached to the cone of his nicecream then back at Sans. He seems uncertain of what to say.

Coming to a decision, he lunges forward and wraps his arms around Sans’ tiny frame. “IT’S JUST AN ILLUSTRATION OF A HUG.” Sans drops his guard at the sudden embrace and snuggles into his ribs …his brother takes the distraction as an opportunity to steal the paper from his hand.

“NYEH!” He grins. Sans looks up in surprise.  
“give it back!”  
Papyrus holds up the message, high above Sans head. “LET’S SEE WHAT THIS REALLY SAYS…” He announces, finally forgetting the audience. Sans flounders his arms to reach it, but he’s helpless trapped between Papyrus’ capture-hug.

“I WAS RIGHT!” He cries. “THIS DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT BROTHERS! ALL IT SAYS IS I’M-“ He goes stiff and loosens his grip. The paper flies from his hand and the wind carries it away before Sans can catch it.

Sans sighs. This is what he wanted to avoid.

“looks like you dropped your nicecream.” Sans comments, trying to change the subject. The treat had been collateral damage of their hug-tackle.

“wanna share mine?” He offers, giving him a small smile. Pap stares emptily off into the distance for a moment. Then he bends down to take a pitiful lick of the frozen cream.

“come on, let’s go home.”

The two take turns licking their shared treat as they resume walking back.

~

A small piece of white paper gets caught in a nearby tree. An unsuspecting Gyftrot meanders over to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
_*You’re just great!  
__~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

They shrug and chew both the foliage and paper off the tree in a single bite, munching away the message.

— — —

Papyrus watches with disgust as Sans empties his second ketchup bottle of the night. He’d never openly criticise him for it though. Sans’ habits are his own business, and Papyrus is still absolutely loath to the idea of offending his brother. Grillby places another bottle in front of him. As Sans moves to grab it, he stops him and looks at Papyrus. “………I never asked………Would _you_ like some ketchup Papyrus?”

He looks at the glass shyly. “I-I’VE NEVER HAD IT BEFORE.”  
“never had ketchup?!” Sans repeats in surprise.

He offers the bottle to his brother. Papyrus looks down at it, then back at Sans. “…ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?”  
“come on. just a sip pap.” He smiles sheepishly.

Papyrus sighs. “FINE.” He takes the ketchup from Sans. He looks at the glass, then back at Sans and Grillby. They both gesture for him to try it. Tilting the thing back, he starts gulping ….and drinks the entire thing in one sitting. Both monsters yelp at him with startled concern.

“uhh, pap…” He lets the sentence trail off. The skeleton had just chugged an _entire bottle_ in under a minute. This could get… _messy_.

Papyrus turns to Sans, completely sober. “YES SANS?”

Sans blinks. He reaches out for the bottle and checks the label, then sniffs the empty lid. It definitely _smells_ like ketchup. He makes a small gesture to Grillby, who brings two more bottles, as surprised as he is. Sans sips a small amount. Still _tastes_ like ketchup too.

“drink another one.” He tests, curious.  
“……….Sans-” Grillby starts.  
“i _said_. drink. another. one.” He insists, pulling his own bottle to his lips to match him. Papyrus views him with the same look of concern as before, but does what he says.

Sans looks back at his brother. Papyrus is still sitting perfectly upright. He frowns. Why isn’t he getting drunk?

“anotherrr.” He slurs.  
Grillby sees where this is going. “……….Are you _sure_?”  
“ _another._ ”  
“………If you say so.” He smiles. They’re in for a big night.

**(~later~)**

“SANS. I THINK YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH…”

“no no nonono… we’re not stopping” He slams his fist against the table. “until i sayyyyyyy we’re stopping!” Sans sways in place, unable to focus on his surroundings. “and you-“ he flings an arm towards Papyrus’ general direction. “aren’t done yet!!!”

“I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE SANS… AND I THINK YOU SHOULD STOP TOO.”  
“psssshhh…”  
“PLEASE.” He begs, glancing at the empty bar around him. It had technically closed hours ago, but Grillby was happy to make time for them.

“mmake me.” He mumbles, standing up. The action makes him fall over before he can even fight. Papyrus moves down to pick him up. “I-I THINK I’LL JUST TAKE HIM HOME NOW, GRILLBY.” He stutters, heaving him over his shoulder. Grillby nods. “……….he’ll have a hangover tomorrow ……….make sure he eats something, for his sake.”

~

A small vibration comes from the pocket of Sans’ jacket. He pulls out his phone. “heeello?” He yawns, still hanging upside down off Papyrus’ back, drunk as a fish.

“…Is this Sans the Skeleton?” A feminine voice spits.  
“yep.” He replies, emphasising the popping ‘p’ sound.

The lady in the little box starts screaming at him. “So YOU’RE the punk who ASSAULTED ONE OF MY GUARDS two nights ago?!!”  
“yep.”  
“And do you realise what that means…?” She whispers in a hostile threat.  
“nope.”  
“It _means_ I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU INTO A DUSTY PULP YOU STUPID PERP!!!!” He has to pull the phone away from his skull, the yelling is so loud. Slowly, he pulls it back to answer.  
“ok.”  
“You do know threatening a Royal Guard is a _crime_?!! I should be sending you to PRISON right now!”  
“ok”  
“NGGGAAHHH! Stop that!”  
“stop what?”  
“Stop answering everything i say like you DON’T CARE!!!”

Heheh. Funny choice o’ words right there lady. _Don’t you know? I’m Mr I Don’t Care, nice to meetcha._

“ok.”  
“Eurrrghhhh! You’re doing it again!! I just… You know what?! SCREW THIS! You’re not even worth the trip! Consider this a _warning_ ya doofus. Threaten my guard again. AND I’LL COME THERE MYSELF AND FILL YOU SO FULL OF SPEARS I’LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!! NGGGGGAAAA-” The signal suddenly stops as if the other end has been smashed into tiny pieces by magical spears.

“bye.” He speaks naively to the dead line, hiccuping. Papyrus opens the door and carries him inside. “wheeeee! higher pap pap! higher!” He yells, swinging his arms like an airplane.

There’s no way he’ll remember _any_ of this tomorrow.

— — —

Sans walks in to see Papyrus cleaning up his room. He’d already come in with a dustpan and brush earlier that morning (he’s not an idiot), but the books from Sans’ bookshelf were still all scattered on the floor from late night reading. Sans glances around at all the open covers, impressed. “never realised you were such a book nut.” Papyrus lifts up his head.

“HMM?” He blinks and realises Sans is standing at the door frame. “OH! BROTHER! …I’M SORRY, that I read your books.” He looks down in shame while carrying a textbook about the history of monster puzzle architecture. Sans doesn’t even know why he still has that thing. Must have been a boring night if he’d resorted to reading that. “ ’s okay pap. you don’t need to ask me to read em.” He reassures calmly.  
“I-I SHOULD HAVE ASKED YOU THOUGH. IT WAS SELFISH OF ME TO-“  
“pap.” He interrupts before he can get ahead of himself. Papyrus’ mouth closes with an audible clop.

He leans against the wall, relaxing. “so you like a bit of late night reading, huh?” The taller monster nods his head nervously. There was something about reading that just helped to keep him grounded when he missed the confining walls of his cardboard box. Having so much _space_ made him uneasy sometimes. Sans nods to himself.

“just came to say, i’m off to grillbys.” He adds as he begins to walk out of the room. Papyrus is becoming familiar with his routine. “THEN I GUESS I’LL MAKE SPAGHETTI TONIGHT FOR WHEN YOU COME BACK.” He replies, mentally preparing himself to make the watery mess of a dish. Sans must be so sick of his pathetic cooking skills by now. He wishes he knew how to make something else. His back turned, the sides of Sans’ mouth are stretched upwards. Grillby’s meals are ok, but he’d been hoping for this all day. His brother’s spaghetti is quickly becoming a family tradition.

~

Sans hesitates, walking the corridor to his bedroom later that night. He raps lightly on his brother’s door with a knuckle and walks in. Papyrus turns to face Sans, his eyes lighting up. “SANS! OH, YOU CAME AT THE BEST PART…” He gestures for him to lie next to him on the wooly matt.

Sans joins his brother and looks over at the illustrated picture book in Papyrus’ hands. “THE FLUFFY BUNNY JUST CLOSED HIS EYES AGAIN! AND SEE, WHEN HE OPENS THEM… MR FOX!” He claps, flicking between the blank page and the red fox smiling on the other side. Sans looks at Papyrus curiously. Hadn’t he been reading advanced puzzle schematics just the night before? Then he shrugs. A monster can read what they like.

_Fluffy Bunny_. He hadn’t read this thing in years. “OH! OH! THE ENDING ALWAYS GETS ME, CAN YOU READ IT SANS?” He laughs watching Papyrus bob up and down so excitedly. “sure thing bro.”

~

If he’s going to read the story, he might as well do it right. Sitting up straight, he makes a sound of clearing his throat (even though skeletons don’t have throats) and begins his best Mr Fox impression. Papyrus lays back and soaks in the story Sans sets the scene. Using hand gestures and wild expressions, he extrapolates the story into a full novel-length adventure that, were Papyrus sitting on a chair, would have him listening on the edge of it.

“and so mr fox turns up again and reunites with fluffy bunny after his twelve year exile from the land, having slain the intergalactic dragon, brought peace to the kingdom of monsters (which fluffy bunny is secretly the heir of) and kisses his true love right on their fluffy lips, breaking the curse and at long last making him visible to the world once more.”

“…ARE YOU SURE THAT’S IN THE STORY SANS?”  
“what? don’t you trust me bro? you don’t like your brother’s awesome story-telling skills?” He gently pokes him. 

“come on, listen to this…” He finishes the story properly, whispering the last line so softly only Papyrus, sitting straight across from him, could possibly hear.

He turns and looks back at his brother, who is curled up next to him, crying softly. “pap?” He asks, a little concerned. His brother just smiles at him and places a hand on the book next to his own.

“TH-THANKS FOR READING IT, SANS. YOU REALLY ARE A GOOD STORYTELLER.”  
“anytime pap.” He smiles, getting up to go sleep in a proper bed.

— — —

Sans jerks awake. _The dust. It’s everywhere._ In his eyes. In his mouth. In his clothes. In his bed. He scrambles off the thing and collapses onto the floor. Get it off me! _Get it off me!_ He’s panting. He can’t slow down. He can’t breathe. Scrambling at his shirt to brush off the dust that isn’t there, the same dusty grey clouds his vision. His gasps get more desperate. He… He…

He’s panicking. He needs to _calm down_. Bones creak as he huddles into himself. _Breathe._ His chest doesn’t want to obey. _BREATHE_.

His rattling fills the deafening silence for a minute before relaxing - just a little.

What’s the time? Sans glances at the curtains, his shoulders are still trembling from the adrenaline making it hard to focus.

It’s still not light out. He sighs and lets go of his shirt. There’s no way he’s going back to sleep now. Not when closing his eyes will just bring back… Thinking about it makes him shudder.

He leans against a wall and barricades himself. The only option is to wait it out until morning. He can do that. Right? _Focus._

…his eyes start to droop-  
**_Dust_. **

They open again with a fright. Shivering, he slowly drags himself up off the floor and walks down the corridor. He’s too tired to think straight. To hell with consequences. He just knows he needs Papy.

~

Reaching his door he can smell dust in the air. Why won’t these memories just _leave him alone_?! Angrily, he opens the door. Specks of grey are scattered into the carpet. The stuff is floating in the air, clinging to him. _Just keep moving. It’s not real. It’s not real._ He whispers to himself. There’s a small scraping noise coming from the shadow at the far end of the room. That’s strange. Sans swears he’s heard that sound before somewhere, but he can’t put his finger on it.

Papyrus isn’t on his rug. Moving to the side of the wall, he switches on the light. Hopefully Pap can forgive him for waking him like this.

The light illuminates the silvery-gray substance that has been thrown across the room. It is undeniably dust. But that isn’t what Sans focusses on. There, next to the window, Papyrus sits crouched over his arm with a _different_ type of silver thing in his hand. His brother turns his head quickly, surprised by the sudden light.

 

“…papyrus?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ahem*  
> My literal reaction at the end of writing that last piece: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! 
> 
> Heheheh. Three guesses to see how this little cliffhanger will end ;D Hope you enjoyed the fluff while it lasted because the feels/drama/angst train is back in station. All aboard! 
> 
> Sorry this chapter was so delayed. I got sick, it was nasty, I was dizzy and vomiting and couldn't walk in a straight line without falling over and going feverish. But i'm 90% better now so it's all good. (now i'm in the same boat trying to catchup my other fic's updates aswell, rip me @_@)
> 
> Ok. Now onto actual notes.  
> 1) I have no idea what possessed me to try and write a full version of Fluffy Bunny. I know it's weird. But I kept it in there anyway because why not.  
> 2)The wingdings (which was a whole fiasco let me tell you. If you can't get the link to work don't worry. It's not really that important anyway) is supposed to say "I MISS YOU". That's about as much of a Gaster reference as you'll ever get in this. It's basically why I headcanon Papyrus holding sentimental value in his scarf.  
> 3)Thank Google for the trivia.  
> 4) I am so so so so glad i mention the puns. If i could only include one of these shorts i would keep the puns XD  
> 5) "You're just great" and "an illustration of a hug" are literally some of the flavour texts that can come up in game when you use NiceCream. I'm surprised and proud that turned out so perfectly.  
> 6) People wanted Undyne, there's Undyne for ya :D But I'm still holding most of her back for when she makes her proper debut in the story.
> 
> Oh. And as far as I'm concerned the term 'Dadby' is pure gold and I'm totally treating it as as much of a thing as PapPap is now :3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's... well, it's not perfect. Writing this chapter was hard. Today I just put my foot down though, I can't keep delaying and re-editing it forever. I realised this is just going to be one of those things where what I type will never meet up exactly with how i picture it in my head *shrug*. But hopefully I get some of the point across. (Fingers crossed the drama's not too cheesy either haha)
> 
> Side note: 800 hits! We're getting close to four digits now... And over 100 kudos! *insert little happy dance here*

"...papyrus?"

The skeleton blinks in surprise at the sudden light shining on him. Quickly tucking the knife under his sleeve he turns to see his brother standing right in front of him. “I-I CAN EXPLAIN…” He stutters, holding his arms close to his chest to try and hide the long scars in the bone.

“ex-explain?” Sans trembles. He takes a step towards Papyrus and moves his arm out to touch him. In the corner of his eye there’s a flash of light as Pap’s sleeve shifts to reveal the-  
_knife. The human… On top of… And then they… And the knife goes down… And then… And then… And the dust it-  
_ He jerks his hand back and retreats against the wall.

A child's laughter fills his head.  
_Hahahahahah_  
It won’t stop.  
_Ahahahaha_  
Please.  
_Hahahahhaha_  
Just make this stop.  
_Hahahahahahah_  
It’s not stopping…  
_Hahahahahahahhahaha_  
IT’S NOT STOPPI-

“you were hurting yourself.” He says bluntly, bottling up all the feelings and thrusting them out of his mind. This is Papyrus. This is more important.

“SANS-“

“don’t lie! you were shoving a **knife** into your **arm** papyrus!” He roars. His eye sockets go wide as the concept truly sinks in. “oh god. you were… you were…” Pap looks away and shamefully brushes the dust from his clothes. Sans almost gags.

“h-how could you?” He whispers. “i thought… i thought we were… _okay…_ ”  
“I AM! W-WE ARE! BROTHER, IF YOU WOULD JUST LET ME-”  
“oh! you can **explain** can you?!” Sans screams, his eyes going wet. “you can **explain** to me why you were just **stabbing yourself**!”  
Papyrus looks down. “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT…”

“ **hell it is!** ”

Whatever excuse Pap is about to use is lost when he looks at Sans’ face.

The room goes quiet. Papyrus matches his brother’s angry gaze nervously. Sans, as usual, is the first to look away.

He starts pacing the room. “how could… why would… what’s wrong with… have i done something _wrong_?”  
“I-“  
“tell me! tell me what i’ve done wrong pap! it’s like you can’t even **see** yourself right now! you do see that right? that **dust!"** He stops for a moment as a fresh realisation overcomes him. "wait…”  

“core...” Pap blinks in surprise. Core? What do they have to do with this? Then his face darkens.

“core said if we tired to ‘mortally harm’ ourselves then they’d take us to…” The Omega Timeline. Sans sucks in a breath and his legs go weak.

“you would leave me here without you? you’d… do _this_ to yourself? rather than be with me?” He chokes. Pap wants to argue, but doesn’t know how. Sans lashes out, grabbing hold of Papyrus’ arms and pulling them towards his chest.“d-don’t…. don’t l-l-leave me p-pap…” He starts sobbing, gripping the bony fingers tighter. “i can’t go back… don’t make me go back to being empty again…”

“NO!” Papyrus has found his voice. “NO, SANS. CORE WON’T COME! I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! I’M CAREFUL. I’M REALLY CAREFUL! SEE? I ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO HEAL MYSELF BEFORE I DROP HP…SEE! I WON’T KILL MYSELF! CORE WON’T COME. SO IT’S FINE. IT’S…”

The only words that Sans hears are ‘kill myself’.“you mean so m-much to me papyrus. s-so much… so much. you don’t deserve to… you don’t deserve to die-”

 _Deserve_? Everything comes to a sudden sharp focus and Papyrus becomes dangerously calm. “YES. I DO.”  
“no…”

“IT’S WHAT I DESERVE SANS!” He confesses with a yell. “I **DESERVE** THIS!” He repeats, holding out his arms and gazing at his work. He starts smiling manically. “DON’T YOU SEE?”

“I’M LYING TO YOU SANS!! CONSTANTLY! I PRETEND THAT I’M WORTH YOUR TIME TO AVOID ARGUING BUT THE TRUTH IS I’M NOT! YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR ME. I’M A HORRIBLE BROTHER. I’VE TRICKED YOU INTO CARING ABOUT ME. SOMEHOW YOU THOUGHT I WAS WORTH SOMETHING AND I WAS TOO SCARED TO UPSET YOU SO I JUST LET YOU BELIEVE THAT GARBAGE! THE TRUTH IS… THE _TRUTH_ IS… THIS WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE WITHOUT ME. EVERY _SECOND_ THAT I LET YOU BELIEVE THESE LIES HURTS ME FAR MORE THAN THESE SILLY LITTLE SCARS! IF I WASN’T SUCH A COWARD I’D DO EVERYONE A FAVOUR AND JUST… JUST BE DONE WITH IT!”

“how can you say that to me??? **how**?!” He exclaims, pushing Pap away. “you… you’d leave me in this world alone? you’d leave me like this to relive it **again** and **again** and again and again and again-” His voice breaks. “and again a-and again a-and a-again…” His mouth keeps moving silently, becoming lost in memories from a different time.

Papyrus stands there awkwardly. He wants to comfort him… but is that really the best idea right now?

“…i can’t be that person anymore pap. i can’t go back to that. i’m not strong enough. please… _please_. you have to see that. you **have** to see that… i _care_ about you papyrus. i’ve tried so hard to deny it but i can’t help it and i don’t _want_ to help it dammit. i love you papyrus. **i. _love_. you.”**

He kneels down, wiping the tears from his face, and extends his wrists smiling weakly. “if you have to hurt someone, hurt me. just… please.”

Papyrus looks at Sans with horror. Hurt _him_? This is exactly what he feared. Sans is willing throwing away his own happiness for him… Everything he’d ever worried about is coming true before his very eyes. He looks at the skeleton warily.

“you’re my bro, pap.” Sans mumbles through the sobs he’s struggling to holding back.

This won’t do. Papyrus needs to stop this. Now. He can’t be responsible for hurting Sans like this. He just _can’t_. There’s only one solution to this. One way to get him to do the right thing and forget about him.

He looks down at him, eyes glazed over with apathy.  
“I HAVE NO BROTHER.”

— — —

Sans gasps and clutches at his nightshirt. Did he just say that? Did he just… He did. He actually said it...

“WAKE UP SANS! **WE AREN’T RELATED!** I’M AN ONLY CHILD AND _SO ARE YOU._ WE’RE NOT REALLY BROTHERS!!! I’M NOT YOUR SILLY _PAP PAP_ YOU CAN “FIX” TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF. HUGGING SOME _STRANGER_ ISN’T GOING TO HELP EITHER OF US! _”_ He screams without thinking. “AND-“

The next words choke in his mouth as he realises the things he’s just said. His hands go to his mouth in horror. “I… SANS. WAIT. I DIDN’T MEAN… I DIDN’T MEAN THAT. SANS I-“

“i heard you loud and clear _papyrus_.” He hisses. No silly nickname in the world can relax the mood right now.

“NO… SANS… I DIDN’T MEAN-“

They make eye contact. Hatred. Betrayal. Disappointment. Regret. Tears start to pool in Sans eyes. He looks away in embarrassment. _Again?_ Why can’t he stop crying already?

“ah geez. pap. of course you didn’t-“ He starts. “look, i _know_ you didn’t mean it bro.”

Both skeletons automatically relax and let go of the breaths they are holding.

Sans nods at the knife thrown against the wall. “…but the real question here, is do _you_?” Papyrus looks down. The flame pattern of his new rug is concealed by a thin layer of his dust.

…

“and _that’s_ the problem! even now! even after all that! i still haven’t gotten through to you, have i?” He laughs, swaying in place. “watch this: you’re the greatest and coolest skeleton i’ve ever met papyrus, a _good_ person who deserves to live a _good_ life, and it’s an honour to be your brother.”

On instinct, Pap opens his mouth to objec-

“see?! see?!” Sans stands up furiously.

“…nothing i say is going to change your mind, is it? you’re going to keep bringing yourself down, **destroying** yourself, no matter what i do.”

“ever since you came, pap. all i’ve done, _everything_ has been about making you believe that. i gave you everything i had left pap. letting you in… _caring_. it hurts more than you can possibly imagine. it's not perfect. we've had our ups and downs, but… i thought it was working. i thought… heh. maybe... just maybe… we were… _happy_?” There’s a rueful grin on his face. “guess i thought wrong, huh?”

Papyrus doesn’t know what to say. Sans waits anyway, blindly hoping that he _will_ say something. That somehow his brother will randomly snap out of this and respect himself and be happy and they can live happily ever after. _Hahaha_! How stupid’s that? What a pointless thing to dream.

“welp. you know what? i’m done trying. i give up. it’s not like there’s any point is there?”

Papyrus opens his mouth to stop him.  
_Sans…_  
_Say something_.  
**_Anything_.**

But… he can’t.

“that’s what i thought.” Sans sighs bitterly. “i’m done with feeling hurt. i’m done with trying for no reason. 'cause the truth is,” Sans clenches his fist quietly.

“ **i don’t care anymore.** ”

— — —

Sans stands tall, but a little shaky. He’s wobbling in place as his vision blurs in and out. Papyrus just whimpers, trembling on the spot. “S-S-S-SANS… SANS… SANS… _SANS_ … Sans? Sans… sans… sa… s… ….”

_He doesn't care._

He walks out the door. It shuts behind him so lightly, it’s surprising he even pushed the thing at all. _He doesn't care._ With a laboured breath he drops to the floor. _He doesn't care about him._ Leaning against the door, his eyes go empty and silence leaves his ears ringing. Emotions go numb and he’s suddenly just a spectator in his own body.  _He DOESN'T care about him. He doesn't... He doesn’t…_

He greets the nightmares that prey on the empty noise like old friends.

— — —

As soon as it shuts, Papyrus scrambles towards the door. He stares at the handle, his bones rattling. Once. Twice. Three times he reaches for the door knob and pulls his hand back in cowardice. Why didn’t he say anything? _Why didn’t he say anything!_ The anxiety creeps in. Breaths get faster and the world goes fuzzy around him. He feels like he might throw up. Huddling in on himself, he leans against the door, gasping for air that feels too dense to swallow.

He _knew_ this would happen. Hadn’t he said so? That spending time together would only hurt Sans more? For once in his life, he was right. For once in his life, he wishes more than anything that he had been wrong.

That’s probably when the screaming started.   
He honestly doesn’t remember.  
All he knows  
is that he  
doesn’t  
stop.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typing out PapPap saying "I HAVE NO BROTHER" hit me in the gut. I actually gasped out loud (just completely out of nowhere, in front of people and everything) when i came up with the idea. 
> 
> ...wanna guess where the line came from though? Some random MarioKart parody video XD
> 
> I was too chicken to go through with it though. I had SO many messed up ideas that i cut. Be glad i had Sans back down and admit he knows Pap didn't mean it or things could've gotten a LOT worse. I just couldn't figure out a way to defuse the situation with a window for resolution in later chapters if they didn't. And if things had ended in a fight instead... well, how was Papyrus to know that Sans only had 1 HP??? And what would he want to do with that butter knife if Sans failed/refused to dodge in time? =)
> 
> Errrrrr this is getting depressing... We need something happy here :D Don't be sad about the skelebros! Think about kittens! Or even better! Think about kitten Sansy! ~ Sans curled up on Papyrus’ lap like a little kitten on a large comfy velvet red chair by a fireplace. Papyrus reading a self-help novel with one hand and stroking his brother's fluffy jacket with the other while the fire crackles. Sans doing a little cute hiccup when he wakes up and drowsily lifting up his smooth round head to say “pap-pap?”, looking up at him with big puppy dog eyes. “SHHHH. GO BACK TO SLEEP SANS.” Pap rubbing his head playfully. “i love you pap-pap” he would yawn, his eyes already closing. “I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER.” ~
> 
> …feeling better? :D  
> You readers are awesome for sticking around with me. Sorry if it's getting annoying reading this every time but thanks for all your comments. I love the love <3 (Don't think i don't respect/appreciate criticism too though ;D Feel free say what you honestly think!)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random note: just in case this ever really becomes a question (it probably won't but it was brought up last chapter so i figured i'd be up front about it) I don't ever really plan on this thing going on hiatus. [x](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/123342132)

Grillby taps his fingers impatiently on the side of the bar. The wood lets out a soft hollow patter with each hit. _Where is he?_ He thinks to himself. It’s been 9 hours since they last came… Why hasn’t he come back?

He shakes his head slightly. _Calm down, Grillby. There’s probably a reasonable explanation._ Sans has spent a day without coming here before, remember? And besides, 9 hours is nothing. There’s nothing to worry about.

...

He keeps his eyes locked on the entrance impatiently anyway.

— — —

21 hours. His head glances to the clock in his backroom so often, it’s happening on a subconscious level.

He takes a deep breath to relax. Sans is fine. He’s probably just… busy. Yes. Too distracted doing things with his brother to make the time to drop by. That’s it.

He gives Sans’ empty seat a brief glance before turning back to the kitchen.

He’ll be back.

He always comes back.

— — —

1 day, 7 hours and 32 minutes - he did the math.

Not because he’s getting _nervous_ or anything. Haha. Ha. Just because… he’s bored. That’s all. It’s been a slow morning.

Running this establishment is so much easier without Sans in it. He barely has to lift a finger or say a word at all. Most monsters just assume he can’t speak and leave him be anyway. Even Sans had thought so when they first met. The _look_ on his face when Grillby had spoken back all those years ago. Priceless.

Grillby leans back against the wall and watches all his customers. Smiling, eating, drinking. Going about their lives. It’s all so… quaint. Uneventful.

He hopes Sans comes back soon.

— — —

The bell on the door chirps cheerfully and Grillby falls off his desk chair, rushing to the front room. “………..S-“

It’s just Lesser Dog.

Oh.

— — —

Grillby is wiping the same glass over and over again without realising it. Did something happen? Is Sans hurt? Did he act up in front of more monsters again? Are the two of them ok? Did _they_ fight? Why hasn’t he come yet… Sans always comes back. Even as a lifeless vegetable, he’s _always_ come back.

He glances at the clock again. It hasn’t changed since the last 30 seconds he checked. Two days. _Two days_.

He wipes the perfectly clean cup more furiously. Maybe they are simply making their own meals now. Maybe they don’t need him anymore. Maybe Papyrus has somehow convinced Sans to give up ketch- He starts laughing. _Sans_? _Give up on ketchup?_ No, that’s not it.

He slams the cup on the table. _Stop thinking about this so much Grillby._ The greasy white cloth flops beside it and he reclines against the bench, massaging his temple.

Why should Sans need to explain himself to him? They’re both fully grown monsters. It’s not like he has to tell Grillby where he is all the time. It’s his job to serve Sans ketchup, not worry about him. Sans… Sans doesn’t need him anymore. He said so himself.

He thinks back to the early days. That morning when Sans woke up suddenly an entirely different person.

~  
_“….. …… …..Sans. Please.” The skeleton just sits there distantly. He looks so empty. “….. …. ….Sans. Can you even hear me?”_

_Grillby places a hand on his shoulder. “…… ….. ….You’re my friend Sans, tell me what’s-“_

_Sans pushes his arm off him with a grunt._

_Grillby sighs. “….. ….. ….Let me help you. Just_ **_tell me_ ** _what’s bothering you Sans.” He says nothing. “…… ….. …I care about you, Sa-“_

_There’s a loud crack as Sans stands up from his chair. “well_ ** _don’t_** _.” He pauses for a second, hesitant. Then he takes a breath to steady himself and his eyes go cold. “because i sure as hell don’t care about_ ** _you_** _.”  
_ ~

He should just mind his own business. How could he help anyway? Papyrus or no, it’s been a long time since anything _he’s_ said has mattered to Sans.

— — —

As the magic night cycle makes it way across Snowdin, Grillby’s bar continues to glow a warm inviting red. Monsters start to leave, one by one.

Grillby rests his head against steepled hands on the table top. His eyes are closed.

50 hours now.

Despite it being closing time, he’s still left the door unlocked. Just in case.

He stands up. All this sitting around and not doing anything is putting him on edge. Strolling around the tables he cleans up stains, slime and dog slobber from the parlours. Leaning down to pick something from of the ground, he realises its a bottle of ketchup.

 _Darn._ He’d been going for a record of 2 hours without thinking about it. Now he’ll have to start all over again.

Sans doesn’t have his own supply of ketchup. He never bothered to stock it when feeling thirsty meant an excuse to go to Grillby’s. Unless the shopkeep has changed her policy on condiments, that means Sans has gone two days without a drop.

Sans? Not drinking ketchup? The idea tips him over the edge.

_Maybe I’ll pay them a small visit. Just to make sure._

— — —

 _Knock knock knock._ Grillby’s fist, hardened by magic, raps on the door. But nobody came.

He sighs and stands at the doorstep for another minute, waiting for Papyrus or Sans to greet him.

They don’t.

For a moment, he considers just barging in anyway. He swears he can hear a faint screaming from upstairs ( _it’s probably just the wind_ ) and starts turning the handle.

 _“…. … …You can’t expect me to just-“ “we aren’t friends. just leave me alone.”_ The memory of Sans’ voice hisses in his head. His grip loosens.

Grillby had never believed for one moment that he was telling the truth. Whatever Sans says, he _knows_ they were friends. What made Sans change that day he has no idea. Comparing the skeleton that walked into his bar before that day and after it was like comparing two different people entirely. Behind it all Grillby knows that Sans must remember that person he used to be too. As long as Grillby can hope that, regardless of what everyone else says, there will always be that seat for his old friend by the counter.

 _leave me alone._ The whisper repeats. He frowns and steps back from the door. But how do you reach out to someone who doesn't want your help? Who doesn't trust you enough to even talk to anymore? Is it even right to try?

Flakes of snow sizzle as they land on his fiery skin, making a small hissing sound to fill the contemplative silence. Grillby always was the quiet type.

He tries knocking one last futile time. Again, there’s no response.

Leaving a brown paper bag of food and ketchup on the mat, Grillby walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off the feedback, i guess that last chapter wasn't too cheesy afterall haha. Sorry-not-sorry about the feels >;D. But when it's literally tagged "Feels Rollercoaster of Angst" you can't say that you didn't see it coming...
> 
> This is a strange little chapter. (Don't worry Sans and maybe Pap will be back in the next one :D) We missed out on Grillbz last chapter and I missed writing him so this sorta makes up for it ;D (plus i wanted a break from heavy duty feels writing) 
> 
> His Dadby's shining through there a little getting concerned over our skelebabies :3 
> 
> Of course he'd notice his best friend suddenly acting like someone completely different out of the blue at the start of each reset. Sans has mastered the art of getting him to leave him alone about it though. Can't have people actually 'caring' about him now can we ;)
> 
> 123 kudos. It's like a magic number :D And we're allllmost at 1000 hits!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. I was just really stuck figuring out how to write this chapter. But it's not fair on you to make you wait, and it's not fair on me to keep trying to fix the same bit over and over again haha. So i'm just going to post this how it is and try better with the next one :D

Ketchup. The smell draws the useless heap on the floor out of its slumber. 

That smell… 

 _Ketchup._ Its mind supplies again.   
It doesn’t care.  

With a scowl it closes its eyes more tightly. Just ignore it. But the numbing sensation has already started abandoning it. 

Feeling returns to the creature as it becomes aware of its surroundings. It groans and curls in tighter, hoping to go back to oblivion. 

But it doesn’t. 

 _Ketchup_. The thought pesters its mind again. 

Weak from disuse, its body protests as it moves to stand up. 

 _Ketchup_. The idea drives it. 

Every joint goes weak. It surrenders to the mild resistance and collapses on the floor again with a thud. 

“nnnngggggghhh.” It groans. The floor is _cold_. It doesn’t like it. With exaggerated movements, it tries again. 

Now standing, it stares blankly around it. Wall. Floor. Roof. None of these things mean anything to it. Sensory input is pointless. 

Again it feels the draw to collapse again. 

 _No_. _Ketchup._

With the renewed commitment, it slowly raises a leg. The thing drags forward. A sock-wrapped foot lands again on the ground, a small distance from where it started. The other leg repeats the process.

Again. 

Again.

It has now reached a staircase. It glances at the door near the bottom of it. Then swings its head back to the declined step before it.

It takes a step.

Then stops.

Another.

The falling momentum lets it flop down the next.

It pauses. Makes a slow and deliberate blink. It leans against the wall and closes its eyes.

… _ketchup_. 

It opens them and takes another step.

One.  
By.  
One. 

Step.  
By.  
Step. 

It finally reaches the bottom. In relief, it supports itself against the handrail and takes a breath. 

Look how far he has come. 

 _I’ve made it this far, might as well keep going._ Sans sighs, finally accepting that he’s awake. He makes more steps - slightly easier this time - to the door. Tiredly, he opens it. 

There’s a small brown paper bag on his mat. Written on the front in large black letters is a note. **Sans and P-** he kicks the bag off his porch. There’s a loud clatter and crack as the contents hit the ground and the surrounding snow stains with red sauce. 

Oh. So that’s where the smell came from.  

Sans walks out onto the worn path and slowly trudges to the glowing building in the distance. It doesn’t matter. He’ll just get more ketchup. Passing the soggy mess of ketchup and paper, he turns his head away and clenches his teeth. _I don’t care. I don’t_ _care. I_ ** _don’t_** _care…_

— — —

Papyrus hugs himself tighter against the dark corner of his room. He presses his spine further against the wall, forcing it to run parallel against the bones’ natural curve. It hurts, but in a displaced dull kind of way. Not nearly enough.

 _If only i could take up no space…_ he thinks between the thousands of angry voices reminding him of why he’s like this.

Tears force his eyes open for a brief second and he notices the knife on the floor. _If Sans doesn’t care anymore, does that mean…_ he scrambles towards it when a small white dog pounces in through the window. (But hadn’t it been closed…?)

The fluffy creature takes the tool in its mouth, looks at the shocked Papyrus for a moment and prances back out the window again.

“G-GET BACK HERE! I… I NEEDED THAT! YOU STUPID DOG!!!” He screams desperately, running to the opening. But the dog is gone.

He stares blankly outside, completely lost. Now how is he supposed to end this? 

He bursts into tears. “SANS…” he moans. How dare he? How dare he think he deserved any relief… He’s so selfish. So so selfishly stupidly horrible. A terrible person. The worst brother. He doesn’t deserve this world. He doesn’t deserve Sans. Sans was right to stop caring about him. He is worth nothing. He is _nothing_. He deserves to continue suffering like this. 

 _I hope you’re finally happy Sans._ He smiles weakly. A life without him in it, must be paradise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhh i wrote this so depressinglyyyy and out of characterrrr. The next chapter will be better. And faster to come out ;D  
> ...probably.
> 
> I included Annoying Dog at last ^.^ Papyrus using that knife in his emotional state?? Not on my watch :P What? The window's closed? Pft. Like a little thing like that could stop me, screw space and time.
> 
> And one last thing, we hit 1000 hits!!! The big 4 digits! Wow! And 144 kudos... Gee, thanks everybody for liking my thing :D I'd do another celebration thing but it would be a bit hard to fit it in the story at the moment. I already have a lot of fluff planned later on though ;D (What do you think? Can skeletons be ticklish...?)


	16. Chapter 16

hi. 

 

I know it's uh... been a while. And i'm so so so so SO sorry about that. I know it's kind of a jerk move to say I'm not going on hiatus and then stop posting straight after that and it made me feel kind of anxious over the last few days to actually confront the issue again and face the messes I've left. 

 

I'm... not going to go into the details about it. It was personal reasons. But really it doesn't matter. The bottom line is that I didn't work on it for a couple of weeks. I didn't post something explaining I wouldn't be able to (which I KNOW I said I would if I was going to be unavailable, I'm sorry again). I haven't finished writing the next chapter. If it means anything, I didn't do much of anything in any other areas of my life over that gap either, so it's not like I was deliberately choosing to just stop without any notice.

But let's talk about positives! I've got everything mostly under control now :) I'm feeling a lot better and I've started working on the next chapter again :D I'm not dropping this series (hooray!) even if maybe the fic might have lost some of that momentum it originally had. I started this thing not expecting it to be a hit anyway :) Thanks to everyone who waited it out and thanks to everyone who didn't (who probably aren't even reading this right now but whatever). I completely understand. If I'm being honest I probably would have done the same thing in your position and really it's no Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach top quality fic that's worth the wait anyway haha.

 

Moving forward there's only 2 things I need to let anyone who wants to keep reading know:

1) still don't expect perfect writing haha (again, this is more to stop myself from feeling inadequate about what I post :P For all i know I might be even more rusty (if that's even possible) now after that break)

2) I'm not going to try to keep myself to a schedule again. Chapters come out when I finish writing them rather than about a week apart. I hated that feeling of knowing I let readers down, it scares me. But I think it's going to be better for me this way. 

 

I'm working on the next chapter now and it's got some Sans opening up to Grillby which should be interesting :D Watch your back Papyrus, ever-so-slowly I'm prepping a rescue team of feels as you mope just you wait... 

So yeah. That's about everything. I might also tinker around with my other fics that I abandoned at various points aswell but lets take this one step at a time. I don't want to heap myself with commitments again.

**tl;dr I'm sorry for not posting. Sorry for not warning people about it. I hope you understand. It's completely fine if you don't though. I'm gonna post chapters whenever from now on.**

If you're still interested, I hope you can enjoy what's in store!  
BubbL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might delete this later once i post again so it doesn't spam the work when you read through it


	17. Chapter 17

Wet snow embraces thin fabric as a skeleton follows a familiar path. His house at the edge of the horizon, Sans pauses. His shoulders tense, tempted to turn and take one final glance back… 

_No. There’s no point. Don’t care._  

He presses forward.

Pat. Pat. Pat. His feet crunch against the newly formed snow. The gentle sound is really all he can drive himself to care about. _…But that’s not the truth is it?_ A voice in his mind teases. Magic shifts his eye sockets to a close. There’s something off. And it won’t seem to go away.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. 

He tries to ignore the soft burn in his chest.

Crunch. Crunch. SNAP.

He’s broken a branch. The feelings bubble to the surface and tears threaten to glow in his eyes. _WHY WON’T THESE STUPID FEELINGS JUST GO AWAY?!_ The scream reverberates in his skull. He doesn’t need them anymore! He doesn’t care anymore! He meant what he said back in… back in… 

More tears flood his ducts at the memory. He struggles to hold them back.

_…i can’t be that person anymore pap. i can’t go back to that. i’m not strong enough. please… please. you have to see that._

He clutches his skull trying to scrape the words out of his head.

_THIS WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE WITHOUT ME..._

"stop it." He hisses at himself.

_…nothing i say is going to change your mind, is it?_

"i don't care. i don't care. i don't care." Sans hums the words like a frenzied lullaby, desperate to make them true.

_I HAVE NO BROTHER._

" **I don't care.** " All at once the voices stop.

_What happened doesn’t matter. What was said and done_ **_Doesn’t. Matter._ ** _Nothing’s permanent.  Everything resets. Papyrus won’t remember. Every freaking thing he’s done will be wiped clean. And none of this will mean **anything**. _

His soul becomes dead still. A dull pain spreads through his chest in grief. He chases it away.

Sans breathes and wipes away the tears. A chill enters his body and his mind goes numb. _Emptiness at last._

Forcing a straight face, he shuffles through the door and goes to his stool. Ketchup. A few bottles should chase away this timeline for good. _Don’t feel. Don’t care…_ He just needs to try harder. 

 

— — —

 

A tired Grillby pushes through the door behind the counter, responding to the call of the bell. The bartender hasn't slept in over 30 hours, mechanically following routines in a poor attempt to smother his anxiety. He gives the new customer a quick glance, acknowledging the skeleton in loose pyjamas before turning.

_Wait..._  

He turns on the spot with a squeal of his rubber shoes. Grillby could almost cry, see him sitting there, that same seat as always, as though nothing has changed.

"..........Sans!" He exclaims, dropping everything he was previously doing. "......I was so-" He stops mid-sentence as he takes in the monster in front of him 

 

“Oh.”

 

He hates he can see it. That by now it’s familiar enough that it only takes one glance. He hates that in an instant, he _knows_. There are obvious signs of course. An unchanged filthy nightshirt and slippers in the middle of the day, heavy dark rims under the eye sockets. But those aren’t what catch his attention. It’s the way Sans is slouched uncomfortably on the stool without shifting. The vacant tilt of his skull. The way he looks at Grillby without looking at anything at all. 

Over the years Grillby has witnessed many a monster drink until empty and hopeless. But none pull it off quite like Sans does.

It’s minutes before Sans can escape his thoughts long enough to notice Grillby standing there staring at him. Getting into his old habits is being… _harder_ than he expected. But he just needs time.

With hundreds of timelines of practice, he blankly lifts up his head - an old plea in his eyes. _Ketchup?_ Grillby visibly flinches at the look. Flames dim while hands him the cup with a sigh. 

“…….So much for progress.” He mumbles bitterly. 

Sans barely registers the comment, focussed wholly on the thing in his hand. This will make everything better. The sauce is slow to tilt as he raises it to his jaw. _Forget Papyrus. Forget the feelings. Forget the pain. Forget the memories._

Grillby slumps against the bar between them as he watches. He’s back to square one. That uncaring face plastered Sans’ skull is so similar it might as well have never left. 

 “Where’s Papyrus?” The fire monster asks more to himself than to the present company. It’s strange that the taller one isn’t here too. He’d grown used to the shy monster tagging along behind him. Sans looks away quietly, drinking more ketchup.

 Grillby shakes his head. Things had been looking up! Talking, smiling, interacting with people. Sans had been the most normal Grillby had seen him since… _before_. 

 The glass is empty. After a brief hesitation, Grillby fills it again. 

This undoubtedly has something to do with that skeleton. He recognises codependence when he sees it. The two are never more than a few feet apart, clinging to eachother like life itself. Probably more than life in Sans’ case. It’s not his place to say whether he thinks that sort of relationship is healthy exactly, but he can’t deny it shows results. 

 …And now the brother is nowhere to be seen.

_Do I say something?_ He asks himself. He’s avoided intervention in the past. But he hasn’t had anything to lose in the past. Grillby has dealt with his fair share of dramas running this place. But with Sans, where would he even start? 

Sans has always been tightlipped about his problems and Grillby certainly isn’t the type to pry where isn’t wanted. Anything he says might just push him further away for all he knows. More than anything he doesn’t want to damage whatever shred is left of their friendship with stupid choices. 

Sans taps lightly on his cup, bringing Grillby out of his thoughts. _I’m a coward_ he sighs, thick sauce trickles from his bottle into Sans’ hand. The eyelights go dimmer as Sans shows the signs of becoming drunk. _A fucking coward._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe i say I'm back then do nothing for another freaking... what has it been? 7 months? God. I just can't seem to stick to any sort of commitment can I? I should really stop making promises I can't keep. 
> 
> Anyway, my unintentional hiatus included depression, anxiety, family disagreements and all the fun times those things can have when you let them play on eachother. (Yeah, I'm not so afraid of announcing how messed up I am anymore so maybe that's a plus ...or just a nuisance. You pick) Also just a desire to hide and never show my face on AO3 ever again because of how often i let people down. My mind tells me lies like that a lot.
> 
> To tell you the truth? I may take another month or 3 to write the next chapter or this may be the jumpstart i need to update regularly again. I don't want to give up entirely. It's not in my nature. If it was, I'd be... a lot worse than i am right now. I have so many ideas. So many mini story scenes i entertain then worry I'll never get to if i don't finish these chapters. I'll fight to keep trying and writing, but don't be surprised if i accidentally fall into hiatus again either


End file.
